bettyboxedin's Journal

 
    
23
Oct 2006
11:43 AM CST
   

Rainy Day (by)Guster is one of those songs that just express all my feelings right now. I feel hurt, sad, lost, confused, angry, crazy, and just weird like a sort of numbness is comeing over me starting from my brain and it slowly is just going down into my heart. Just when i get my illness undercontrol and all my stress and depression is going down to above average Jordy and my cousin pull this shit. pulling me in two directions one way i want to go and the other i dont but know its best. you must think i am sooo stupied for finding this such a diffacult decision.but i really do love him so much the last time i felt this way was with my ex who commited suicide in april.he and i were gonna get married in 2008 when i turn 18 but he missunderstood something i said and then he racted wrongly to it resualting in unbearable heart ache and remanints of guilt. why do i do so many things wrong? i am above average for the usaul mistake making for 24 humans combinded. I myself i wouldn't be the least bit suprised if i was a mistake. fuck i am gonna shut up i am makeing my self suicidal
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1 comment(s) - 07:33 AM - 10/24/2006
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bettyboxedin's Profile

  • Username: bettyboxedin
  • Gender / Age: Female, 34
  • Location: Canada
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    BETTYBOXEDIN's Interests:

    About Me: i am a self employed artist/ photographer. ummm i live in a small farm town and love it. i am very happy with my life right now i have just gone through 6 years in hell and just met the man of my dreams and since i met him everything has just gone up hill. I have been through a lot and have learned a lot through those experiances. even thought they were hard to go through i got positvie results such as self emprovment and life lessons i will never forget. I volunteer at a homeless shelter and love it! I love horses they are my favorite animal and i am starting volunteer work at a horse farm where they do therepy for kids with dissabilites.

    Interests: my intresting inculde horses, journaling, painting, really long walks and my passion is music and expressing my self through my art (music,painting,photography,journaling ect,)and volunteering at a homeless shelter, and skate boarding and watching my boyfriend compete in skate compatitions

    Favorite Music: my favorite music is punk my favorite punk bads are Rise against and i like Nirvana, and a varietyof other types of music. I also like screamo and classic rock. my fav screamo bands are korn,and Insane clown possy

    Favorite Movies: My favorite movies are the equilibrium, kill bill vol. 1 ( vol.2 sucks) and i like the untouchables, Schindlers List, VIOLENCE!!!!! chickflicks ya they suck

    Favorite Television: UFC, Family Guy, Trailer Park Boys, Kenny v.s Spenny, and Csi.

    Favorite Books: Memoires of a Geisha, the hiding place, number the stars, hatchet, brians winter, the outsiders, and a complicated kindness