Dusty Rose

Jan 2012
5:20 PM

venting

well I guess it some time to vent. I love my boyfriend and I know that one day i will marry him, but there are times that i wonder if he even notices me. I could be standing there naked and he would still be staring at either the computer or the PS3! I don't know how to go about this without starting another fight! gotta run will finish

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1 comment(s) - 03:09 AM - 01/27/2012

May 2011
3:04 AM

Happy Birthday!

I guess there are something in life that you never really expect. It is like a game and you are just trying to make it to the next level and there are people out there that will do just about anything to get there.

With that being said there was a party last night for one of the girls that I work with. I really was thinking about not going. I didn't want to mix pleasure and work, but I also wanted to go because of who was going along.

When I found out that one of the individuals that I have a little bit of a crush was going......yeah the game plan def. changed! OMG! I was not even ready for anything that happened! :)

We were all up there and we were all having a great time. Drinking and singing kareoke. It was a blast! Then the drinks started to really flow. They were tasting soooooo good. we were all singing, laughing, and for the first time in my life i actually felt accepted in a good way. It was really nice. Then the dancing started.......oh wow.

so by know we have gone through prolly ten picures of beer and i was drinking bottles but we all went up there on the dance floor and were dancing. now imagine drinks flowing, spirits up, and everyone just having a great time. ok then the potty break that i will never forget. I found out that there are a lot of the guys i work with are into me and I have no idea why. That is a whole different entry....:)! Sorry I am not used to this kind of attention what so ever! anyways....when we all started dancing there was four of us that did not have there other halfs there if we had them and i and one other was single. and the fun continues...

So one of them started dancing with me and by now we are all a little buzzed....well i was really buzzed.....and we started grinding on each other and then it got a little werid. I felt really bad at the time because I know that he is going through a divorce but it isn't final and here I am dancing with him like this. OH IT GETS BETTER!!!!!

So when the bar called last call I got another beer but I didnt finish it. I was standing there knowing that I can not drive all the way home. and the one that I was dancing with wanted me to drop him off at his house and I had no idea what I was going to do. He has kids and I didn't want to jeopardize his life because I had too much. Then I asked him if he wanted to spit a hotel room because I couldn't drive. He agreed. I got a room that had two beds so there wouldn't be any implications that there had to be both of us in the same bed. I felt better about it. I thought I was doing the right thing.

So we get into the room I sit on one bed and he sits on the other and I smoke a cig. Not really thinking about doing anything except going to bed. Now mind you I was DRUNNNNNNK! so i get comfortable and then when he turned out the light is when it all changed. Now don't get me wrong girls need attention just as much if not more than men we just have different needs. But i never expected to enjoy myself as much as i did. I haven't had that much attention since I was in high school.

His touch was so gentle yet firm. he kissed me softly like there wasn't anything going on around us and I was the only one he was worried about at that time. It was magical, his breathe on my cheek, the gentle whisper of his deep voice next to my ear. OMG! It was so right. He was so thoughtful so careful yet so strong and full of knowledge.

so Yes....i had sex with a co-worker! Now I am a little worried because I have NEVER done anything like this. I am really worried about how things are going to be on monday when we work together again.

What I am also worried about is the fact that he had a BIIIIIG fight with his soon to be ex-wife. Now I know that this shouldn't bother me but my only thing is that he told me that they weren't working anything out but that is where he is living as of right now. He says it is because of his kids. That could very well be the reason, but he keeps telling me he wants to be with me and some other things like he calls me his furture Ex-wife.....lol! He says because that is how his luck goes. Maybe he is just a smooth talker but I promise you one thing I will never regret last night. It was full of passion that I have never experienced before and it was absolutely wonderful.