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SuperGirlCaty 32, Female, Illinois, USA - First entry!

May 2011
8:44 PM CDT

Confused :S

Maybe I'm just seeing things .. I don't know... Long story short then i'll say whats up... Last Year June 3rd , we foiund outmy stepfather had cheated on my mother with 7 hookers =[ , it was a hard time.. I'm sure u can imagine :. I still feel the pain that I did then , it's been almost a year , I know he's truely sorry for hurtting her , and us. Everyone has forgiven him but I can't I jsut can't .. Is there something wrong with me? ��It's 8:36pm at the moment .( 5/12/2011) My dad's brother has come to stay with us until he gets back on his feet .. .Dad had a feel jealousy problems ... But I noticed something odd today .. My mum is flirting with him!?!?! My mum and i are very very close , so i can read her like a book :( , I mean yeah she went through alot with dad , but she choosed to stay with dad and not break the family.She says she still loves him but not like she use to she loves him but shes not in love with him ( hey that makes since to me ) ... But Daniel ( uncle thats stayign with u s ) just got out of a realtionship , and is readyto get back in one , and is REALLU lonely and just looking for a good time ( in my opinion )... about an hour ago , my mum grabbed her lingerie , * not the pjs u sleep in , full blown take it off when we have sex etc..* She didn't realise i was behind her in fact she didn't realise anyone was around but daniel ... She took it up to her chest like to show him what it was , and gave him a flirty look ... He likes my mother to... Am i just seeing things =[ im soo confused ... It hurt me and it still hurts me what dad did to my mum because im close to her... But TWO WRONGS DON'T MAKE A RIGHT ... Right? If she did that to him ... :/ I don't know what i'd doo , i think i'd pack a bag and i'd leave... My dad use to be my hero , i wanted thier marriage , they were soo in love ,, well so i thought... She was in loveeee with Dad ,she said she truely belioeved he was her soulmate .. That it was fate .. . but after what he did things havnt been the same ...Her eyes done sparkle anymore like the use to... But blah ill have to repost more about my family and what happened around the time .. and More about Daniel and why he is here... xoxox until later =] Catherine <3

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AleaTravis 65, Female, Colorado, USA - 3 entries

Apr 2011
10:12 AM

e-mail phone contacts Colorado Blue Spruce-Newtons Measure them Brian's Rx Grocery Store Bank Cleaners Liquor Store

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1 comment(s) - 03:23 AM - 05/04/2011

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mourningcloak 71, Female, New York, USA - 14 entries

Apr 2011
11:25 AM

Clermont

I love it here. It's new and young and active. I think I will feel happy and content. I will paint and do videos and get involved an lose weight and LOVE life. Yes, that's what I will do. Lots to plan and figure out. Life is Good!

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satinlady 65, Female, Florida, USA - 46 entries

Mar 2011
5:35 PM CDT

" Loving Hands"

Your loving hands that brings so much pleasure,
�that were so soft and tender, to have known more
hours than those that died in one night of kindling
�wine and faded flowers.
Your loving hands that I have kissed finger by finger,
� I left a brcelet on each,made by my lips.
� loving hands,mine all one night with such delight.
�i will always recall those loving hands,that was mine one
� night,But no longer is mine ,but life go on and we forget.

�� Wrote by: Hilda(AKA satinlady)

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1 comment(s) - 11:38 AM - 08/12/2011

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kipppa 51, Male, Hungary - First entry!

Mar 2011
3:36 PM CEST

kép

k�p �s hang

Tags: kép

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erickarogers123 36, Female, Texas, USA - First entry!

Mar 2011
10:03 AM

SNAKES

I AM SCARED OF SNAKES BECAUSE THEY CAN HARME YOU AND I AM ENLERGIC TO THEM

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codekadiya 41, Male, Australia - 57 entries

Mar 2011
6:01 PM

im gonna stop writing from this for a little while and got a good journal website. so gonna write it from there. thats also comes to the inbox. which is called Ohlife. so its good. anyway sorry.com for this website. thats how the life goes. clients tend to go for the best option when they receive a good website. anyway going to work in a little while.

Tags: ç¾Žå›½æŠ•èµ„

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1 comment(s) - 03:18 AM - 04/12/2011

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sierriea101 26, Female, Alaska, USA - 3 entries

Mar 2011
8:26 PM

i wuld....

i think i i wuld go out n get a job as a fashion desighner

Tags: my future

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auxilary25 41, Female, California, USA - 32 entries

Mar 2011
12:52 PM CDT

O Dear

I’ve done the unthinkable. I’ve become someone I don’t recognize and I’m scared of what I’m realizing. Perhaps all along the problem was me. Maybe my relationships failed because of me. Maybe I was cheated on because I didn’t appreciate the person I was with. Maybe my hidden commitment phobia pushed the people that love me the most to the edge. All this time I cried tears that I provoked. I expected to be loved by people that maybe I didn’t truly love, just for the sake of being loved. I kept people close so that I wouldn’t be alone, my backups. All the while I was incomplete, but better that then empty. If I think love doesn’t exist it’s not because I’ve never truly been loved but because I’ve only loved one person who is now dead. It’s horrific realizing I’m the monster. I’m the disease that has poisoned the people that loved me. I was the curse. It hurts when it ends because I wasn’t loved, because I wasn’t enough to be fought for, because I was unmasked.
Sex, never understood why women write in articles how once you are done with meaningless sex you want to get out of there, pretend it never happened, cry. Yesterday it happened. While I was kissing him, while we worked our way up to the point of no return, I kept telling myself “No! Stop.” BUT I kept going. I felt alive; it was a rush, a blank state of mind, peace, desire, etc. I didn’t stop him, I didn’t push him away even when deep down inside I knew this was wrong. He wanted to be held, and I did, but it was to help hide the tears that I was desperately trying to hold back. How can this feel so good yet so wrong? I’m single! I wish it wasn’t with him yet I’m glad it was. I wished it was someone that isn’t here. The one my heart belongs to right now. The one that was my best friend but is barely that because I pushed him away. The one that deserves better than me. I wanted to call him but I can’t because he’s in Aghan. So many years, why didn’t I realize how much he meant to be BEFORE he left??? Why didn’t we embrace the opportunity when it was here? Did I really push him away or did he realize he didn’t want me after he said too much? Was it a moment thing and now he regrets it and doesn’t want to break my heart? What do I even feel? I know I miss him, there’s not 1 day that I don’t think about him. I want him to be happy. I want my phone to beep with a message from him. I want him to hold me. I want him to tell me he loves me, that I’m the one for him. I want to be sitting in front of him watching him blush and smile at me while we are having dinner. I want to tell him everything because he’s the one person (Alive) that I can tell anything to without being judged. Is this normal? How can I possibly feel this when we haven’t even kissed? Am I making this up, in love with the idea of love? Or was I in denial all along? I was always jealous when he spoke to girls romantically but I’d get over it because I never in a million years thought we could be together. How could it be? We live far, what if he realizes he doesn’t love me after I’ve fallen madly in love with him? What if karma gets me back? This is why I push him away, because what if the one person I love doesn’t love me back? I wish he’d push down every wall I put up. Just show up at my door, tells me he loves me, take my breath and heart away. That’s my dream. If it’s not him, I’ll eventually find the one that will put an effort to break down my walls and love me. Or the one I won’t put walls with. God I wish he was here, hopefully soon. Hopefully we’ll at least stay friends, hopefully more. 7 more months, less than a year, it’ll fly and he’ll be home. He’ll come back to me, I hope.
�� I can’t undo what I’ve done. I can’t erase what happened yesterday. I’m just saying let it be. Allow life and my heart to guide me. He knows my heart is in Afghan & he thinks he has leverage because he’s in Miami, but he doesn’t. I don’t need “XX” here to think of him, to want him to love him. I will think of him no matter where he is and until I hear the words “we can only be friends” I won’t open my heart to anyone else…or I fall in love without noticing. My heart is saved for him. Always has been. I just wished I would’ve realized earlier. I had from Kindergarten till now but well, this must be the best timing for us. Maybe I think I feel something I don’t. Maybe when he gets back, one kiss will seal the deal to our future.
�

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GracieBear 27, Female, Indiana, USA - First entry!

Mar 2011
6:02 AM MDT

hey.....um im gunna go to school now:)

Tags: bbbooorrreeedddd

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