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PoeticPurple 39, Female, Michigan, USA - First entry!

Oct 2011
4:23 AM CDT

Car Flames, Childish Games

I'm a nervous wreck tonight. Peeking out windows every five minutes, my heart pounding, in constant fear. A feeling i was once familiar with. And all because of early today when i was awaken by a school girl wearing a pink book bag with a ponytail, constantly banging on my porch windows. peeking out the window the girl seem frighten, in a panic, then she ran off. I thought she was in some kind of trouble. Puzzled i sat back on the couch and later she ran back banging on my windows and doors again. Something wasn't right at all. i started looking through windows all around my house and discovered my car in the backyard were in flames! I was in a brief shock. But i hurried and grab a weapon and my son (4 year old ) and ran out the house looking for help. ( Perfect timing, I don't even have a working phone this week). By time i got outside the firefighters were pulling up and put the flames out. My car? A disaster! To deepen the mystery my car caught fire from the rear and its been parked since 1:00pm.. The firefighter said usually it would have started in the front of the car, under my hood where all the wires, engine, etc. Then he asked did i have any enemies. I don't know anyone, i have no friends, and the only people i associate with is my 2 cousins. The only person i can imagine who would possibly do something like this to me would be him. the man who says he loves me then turn around and put me down, call me names, breaks in my home, threatens to kill me, and have pulled a gun out on me once before to scare me, then turns around and say hes change and wants to be a family,� but always retaliate against me when i don't do as he say.� Petty things such as not calling or not coming to see him when he wants me too... But this..? I try not to believe he would go this far, to that extreme that if it wasn't for that girl banging on my window, me deciding to sleep in the living room to even hear her knocking, or someone calling the firefighters. All this could of resulted into something much more worse then a burnt car but the lives of me and his son. He uses a lot of mind control but never have physically abuse me. But im smart enough to know how things can escalate from one behavior to another.� I say im smart enough to know better, but dumb enough to have forgiven in the first place. After all the chaos he has caused in the past. When will i finally realize enough is enough? i never fought back like him. so why not bully me if i allow him too? i only separate myself from him time after time.I cant be afraid, and i cant allow guilt to return. Gotta find the strength to stay away and be done with this man completely and face the consequences that follow. Because continuing to deal with him will result into someone truly getting hurt. And i would not be able to live with myself if something ever happens to my son. he hasn't changed, and he wont change. I'm the one who needs to change. change for the stronger, the better, the wiser, the brave..... wont sleep till dawn though. Lord give me strength!

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jazziette 68, Female, Arizona, USA - 7 entries

Sep 2011
9:41 PM CDT

Spreading my gossamer wings...

It's time to come out of the cocoon and to taste the beautiful and exotic mystery of life once more.

Breathe deep.....feel the unparallelled freedom of letting go!

Bask in the intoxication of your very own unique and exquisite being.

Time to fly again....like the miracle of the butterfly.

Tags: adventure, depression, jazziette, life, love, rebirth, spiritual

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1 comment(s) - 10:33 PM - 11/01/2014

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Amber92 35, Female, North Carolina, USA - First entry!

Sep 2011
3:05 AM PDT

I have been given a wonderful family that loves me and cares for me.

Tags: Amber Johnston

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swordbearer 71, Male, New York, USA - 21 entries

Sep 2011
5:38 AM CDT

Well, it has been a long while since I have used this but I have a need to write. I just got a book published and it is available in October. I am excited but really don't know how many people will actually buy it and read it. I'm hoping a lot. It is called "Love Believes All Things: A Love Story In Verse" and is a story about a little boy abused by an alcoholic father and despartely in need of love. He is given a porcelain doll that he adopts as his "sister." The story follows Bobbie through his entire life and is told through the eyes of the little boy himself and through those of the doll.

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SdeC13 52, Male, Nevada, USA - First entry!

Sep 2011
7:19 AM

Open Bed?

�I'm happily married to a very sexy man, �I hit the husband lotto. He's a catch, and I landed him. I would like to think we are both lucky in love. Being that life together is still new we are learning about what pleases each other, turn on, and turn offs. He found out that I like the smell of him sweaty and I found out he loves porn. Nothing surprising. Nothing I would be ashamed to admit if I had to put my face with this post.�
�I consider myself an open minded woman. I do not judge people by what they choose to do in the privacy of their bedroom as long as everyone is of age and consenting. At 37 years old, i also was no virgin when we met. So, being the sexual woman that I am, our sex talk gets pretty raunch. Many women in the heat of the moment say a whole lotta bs if it spices up the moment and drives her man insane with desire." "Do you think she's sexy?" �escalates to "I wanna kiss her." then before you know it, you're telling him how you're gonna eat pussy. Blah, blah, blah. I'm in the moment. It's all in good fun, right? Yeah right, until someone gets their eye shot out.�
�I didn't blink when my husband told me he's had a 3some. I didn't blink when he said he's done it with 2 women AND I was a cool cucumber when he said he did it with a man and a woman too. No bisexual activity involved. At least he hasn't told me of any. YET,... maybe. Who knows. I'm open minded. That what I said, right? Or I was right up until the moment my ass was in the air and he says, "I'd love to see a cock in your mouth while I'm in your pussy." rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh........... HUH? WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT? COME AGAIN. EXSQUEEZE ME.
�"Did you just say you wanna see ANOTHER MAN'S PENIS IN MY MOUTH?" Well, that's what I wanted to say, but he was in the moment. I didn't want to ruin it. I also didn't want him to regret telling me anything and everything. It's like having a teenager, if you want to know it all sometimes you gotta just bite your tongue.I bit my tongue. Time stopped. Visions of our 1st date to the day we were married flashed through my mind. Okay, I'm exaggerating. What did happen was after we made love and he fell asleep I was frozen. Frozen and staring at the pervert next to me. Stiff as a board I stared at the stranger in my bed, and wondered if he ever loved me at all. The next day, all day I was tripping out.When he kissed me on his way out the door I wanted to wipe my lips. I started snooping through his things convinced he was screwing around. He was perverted. Perverts cheat. After a week of this I thought about something my older sister told me when I was 13 years old. All guys look at porn. Every guy. It's not a big deal. Ignore his porn stash, it means nothing. My husband wasn't placing personal ads for an anonymous cock in my mouth. He has dirty thoughts and shared them with me. Making love should be a safe zone. The bedroom should be the one place nothing you say can be held against you. He hasn't even mentioned it since. He loves me. He loves me and he loves the thought of me taking 2 dicks. Whatthefuckever. Is it really that serious? NO. I'm not sinking a wonderful marriage because my husband is a nasty motherf^cker. It's that very reason he is so good in bed. End of story. It's not a big deal. It means nothing. Anything said in the safe zone, during the heat of passion or immediatly pending an orgasm does not count.

Tags: marriage, sex

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3 comment(s) - 10:06 PM - 09/28/2011

Asian 28, Female, North Carolina, USA - First entry!

Aug 2011
9:26 PM PDT

My Grandmother, She took me in when no one else would. Somtimes I eould say i have some of her qualities. Others; not so much.

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PandaIzzi 27, Female, United Kingdom - 9 entries

Aug 2011
12:10 PM BST

Dionne Bromfield

Who here loves Dionne Bromfield?�

�She is an amazing singer!!! :) x

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vmath2220 67, Male, New York, USA - 87 entries

Aug 2011
9:50 PM

"Love said, 'Lie still and think of me'. Sleep said, 'Close your eyes till break of day'. But Dreams came by, and smilingly gave both to Love and Sleep their way." Sara Teasdale

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PurpleStar 36, Female, Michigan, USA - First entry!

Aug 2011
1:34 AM CDT

Nervous for what the new begining has for me, yet scared to remain in the present!

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SimplyMe 29, Female, Georgia, USA - 5 entries

Jul 2011
10:00 PM CDT

Rapid Life

Today I am more in touch with the poetic side of me. Writing and all is what I love to do, it's who I am.� There is no greater feeling right now, than the feeling I get when someone likes my poetry.

Tags: Poetry

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