nodeadends's Journal

Aug 2007
9:31 AM EDT

A few more days til the princess'es birthday. All she keeps asking me about is "black" cake. She really means chocolate. When I was pregnant all Curtis ate was cake and sweets,which is what she loves as well.
Went to walmart yesterday the first cake was 77 dollars crazy for a kid. When I ordered her a cake that was comparable to the first the chick had a foul attitude. She rolled her eyes, when I spelled out princess'es name. I was like bitch whatever you dont have to take my money in my mind of course.
I also attempted to go to bible study to relieve my stress go figure no one was there. Eli took me to see the apartment again on hobart street, the landlord promises me its mine. I am worried though, it is a decent place. Eli once told me to stop assuming that he want to sleep me cause he dont like me like that. Yesterday he was on me like flies on shit. Begging talking about he will do anything if I just give him some. ugh ! He cant fuck, a generic energizer last longer than him! Yeah he is handsomebut he is an asshole for saying in the past beautiful people like me deserved to be raped. That is the main reason why I will never....
He is so sorry always claiming he has no money or food.
on to another subject, James called over the weekend to invite me to a dollar movie. Men are so damn corny, does he believe he can actually win my affections with that invitation. He always tries to get me alone, even after I told him I will never be alone with him. He is so transparent, and self absorbed. He defines himself by his employment. He can lull me to sleep with his constant inflating of his already magnamious ego.
Curtis and I chatted again about being together I have reservations. Questioning his motives at this point, does he think that laying down with me will prove to be beneficial to him. Not. I love him however, I want more than what we had. In some ways he has changed for the good that is. He is more outspoken. Wonder how he feels about marriage now or are his thoughts still the same. At one time I wanted so much to marry him, but now its likeI dont care. Being with Curtis isnt asroutine as it use to be. And that is all Im saying:) One thing I admire about Curtis is his quiet strength. We must get re aquainted, there are many awkward moments between us. I am often unsure of when to or how to approach him.
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  • Username: nodeadends
  • Gender / Age: Female, 16
  • Location: USA - New York
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