nodeadends's Journal

Aug 2007
10:12 AM EDT

I wonder where god is right at this very moment, he must be on a long vacation. I have tried contacting him many times, via prayer and all I get in return is dead silence. I have to find something do with my time, Iam bored and frustrated. Everybody wants to get fucked, when will they get it that Iama person not just an object. I hated being treated like this especially from Curtis. It is as if he just doesnt give a damn.

I wonder if I will ever get married hell who would want to marry someone who is so scattered, emotionally that is. Work day is almost over yeah. More shit to stress about. I dont know how the property manager is going to take it whenI tell her that I cant come up with the security deposit in full. I called the house not too long ago and zay wasnt there thank God. School is coming up for the boys and I dont know what is going to happen. Whether I can afford their school supplies and sneakers. This job is ending and I need to have a plan in motion. I feel like such a failure, my english teacher played me. She clearly told me if I completed the required projects I would pass..... then the bitch gave me an "f". I sent her a nasty email, she can kiss the crack of this red ass that's what she can do for me.

Damn I am one angry bitch! I embrace it lol. On a serious not it is quite lonely being me. People usually misjudge me, I am so use to this, they dont take the time to get to know me. Church is going fine, nocomplaints. I dread going home but there is no other alternative. I have no friends, most people cant be trusted I feel. It not easy being me. maybe I will take some anger management classes again, third time is a charm right? I have been searching on line for resources to help me with s.s.a. or myshameful little secret.

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nodeadends's Profile

Username: nodeadends

Gender / Age: Female, 18

Location: USA - New York

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