Meggies14's Journal

Jun 2008
12:06 PM CDT

On your own now...

On your own now...
In my dreams I see you
I see you sitting there across from me
With a blank expression on your face

You're watching me…watching you

Then you stand up, take the last sip
Of the whiskey you had poured yourself
�€�In that short crystal glass
Not knowing this was the last drink you were about to take

As you grab you're throat
You're eyes build up with tears
You choke
But while trying to understand the current affair
Your life flashes bits of its pieces before you

You see your childhood
Your father that was never there
Your mother, Your brothers
And everything that meant something to you

But right in front of you, you see me
You see what had taken over you
What had changed your life
What had given u something that you never truly had before

While i had previously added that demise into your glass
I had thought about how I before tried to save you
To save you from that life that never gave you shit

But being you
The only you that you know
Could never give back what I had given to you

You were once a piece of clay�
That I sculpted, molded, shifted into what you were never before�

Yet you could still never give
Never give back to me

Everything I had poured out to you
Everything I passed up to be with
Everything that meant everything to me,�
had meant Nothing to you

Words were never enough for me
It was your character
Your phony sense of love

The one who raised you never gave you their appreciation
In which you never gave to me
You were always that person

I love you -Ok -
Ill be there
You never came till morning
At 3 am I smelled booze on your breath
As u finally entered my door
A liar
Something u got from your father

So now you stand there Gripping your throat�
Now understanding how I have for the past 2 years
Strain, deceit, pain, exhaustion
love and hate

Take your last deep breath
Hope to your God that he will be there
Because I will never save you again from what you have become

1 comment(s) - 11:38 PM - 12/09/2010
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Current Tags: , betrayal, letting go, poetry, revenge

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Meggies14's Profile

  • Username: Meggies14
  • Gender / Age: Female, 35
  • Location: USA - Illinois
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    About Me: Im 24 years old. I work in the hospitality industry as a front desk clerk. I also do media marketing for online social community. The hotel job is a lot of fun, the marketing job. Not so much. I live at home with my parents for now. The world has defeated me :) Obviously Ill eventually move out. But the hotel gig doesnt pay that much, and the marketing thing is an unpaid internship. Boo. I have a lot of friends. Im very very outgoing and love to have fun. I have love interests but no boyfriend. Got one cat, and one dog. They are both awesome. I like to sleep, eat, walk, talk and do normal things. My passion is helping people. I used to have tons of entries in here, and deleted them all. I worry that when I die, they will access my inboxjournal, and judge the hell out of me! haha. True. I like reading other peoples entries. Its a lot more fun that way

    Interests: Music, friends, family, work, volunteering, event planning, program coordinating, networking, promoting, school, reading, traveling, history, california, biology, philosophy, tall dark and handsome men, beautiful people, drinking, the sun, and everything life offers...

    Favorite Music: Everything from hip hop, rock, classical rock, classical, country, house, alternative, r&b, cabaret, christian rock, pop, rap, spanish, reggaeton, all that good stuff...

    Favorite Movies: Pulp Fiction, Spiderman, Fight Club, I <3 Huckabees, In Her Shoes, Inception...others that i cant think of, but I haven't seen too many movies. I like action and science fiction mostly.

    Favorite Television: Seinfeld, Law & Order, Family guy, South Park, Simpsons.

    Favorite Books: I love James Patterson and history books