smb's Journal

Here it is Tues and I still feel crapy and my heart is still doing that flutter, palpatation thing that makes me feel sick afterwards but not as frequently. I wonder if it is just stress... that bothers be because usually I handle stress so well.... I am worried it is something serous about my heart I am so not making that heart thing up!!! It seriously makes me feel like crap.... I have just NOT been myself this past week! I am too scared to go to the Dr. plus I don't have time... they will just put me though lots of tests, I would have to go to a heart Dr. out of town! AGH! I am actually reporting back to work tomorrow, (Wed) and then work is full on so I don;'t have time at all! BUT, I am scared too that if I have something serious and don't get it checked out that I could put myself in danger. I actually think more of my boys! I HAVE to take good care of myself for my boys! They NEED their mommy! They lost their daddy and can't lose their mommy too! What is God trying to tell me? What do I need to do? I think I am going to stop my Master's for now and start on anti-depressants again and see what happens if the heart thing doesn't get better I will call the Dr. by Fri.

J's last counceling today: