Luby

������������ �It’s my third day. I haven’t been eating much. My stomach is hurting and I feel so weak. Most of the time I lay on my bed and have hard time lifting my hands. I managed to get to the computer.

������������ This is what happened… My dad asked me to do something for him, but I had so many things to do and told him I couldn’t and that I had to go home. I was actually working and he was the one getting paid for it anyways. He told me I could not take that car. So I called my sister to pick me up from Venice and bring me home. So basically my parents took the cat away from me. They say it’s because I am always helping everyone else and don’t have time for them. Honestly I have been busting my ass the whole time until I knew they were asking too much from me.

������������ My phone has been ringing and voice mails left. I don’t pick up or call back. They won’t let me help anyone. I can’t help anyone without getting places. I tried checking bus schedules and they were too confusing. I have never taken the bus anywhere and they don’t work that late. I began to realize people call me when they need something not when they want to offer me anything. �It’s as if I am waiting for anyone to come pick me up for once since I am the one doing it all the time.

�������������There were so many things I had to do and it makes me feel so bad that I didn’t get a chance to get anything done. Feeling depressed and it has put me very low under the threshold. I know I can call and ask for a ride but I feel worthless like I don’t have much to offer. I look like a mess and everything around me has lost its color. I feel numb and all I did to deserve this was say no.

������������� I hate my life when it become like this. I want to be free. I want to own something that can’t be taken away from me. All this tells me that my parents don’t feel like I deserve anything. I have worked ever since I was a little boy to help them. I wanted them to be proud of me. But I don’t seem to deserve anything in their eyes.

������������� I remember every square inch in this house. I have been here very das since my parents bought the lot. I had to dig, place a slab, plant the grass place the bricks, build walls and roof, install windows and doors, paint and trim, tile, plumbing, electricity, and everything I didn’t mention in between. But I didn’t deserve a place to live in it. I spend hours outside fixing the cars, burning my hands to the hot engine, cutting my wrist to sharp tools while everyone was out at the beach or in the house watching TV. But I didn’t deserve a car. I had put so much time and effort to do my best and everything I had done was for the worst. Everything I do, nothing ever works out.