lizzypooh's Journal

Nov 2006
6:24 AM PST

My mother talked to me about marriage today. I am 21 yrs old right now and have been dating my boyfriend for 7 and a half years. He's 22 right now. The thing is, our relationship is growing and it is strong, and our next step in our relationship is marriage. But I think I'm wayyyy too young to get married. I want to take care of myself and my individual goals first before giving my life to someone. That doesn't mean that I'll give up my life and goals and career once I'm married; it's just simply mean that once I'm married, it's not ME ME ME anymore, it's US. My decision is not my decisions anymore, it's OUR decisions. It's good in a way, because I care about my boyfriend's feelings and opinions and so on, but by being married, my own selfish decisions may effect my spouse. So it's like getting a decision approved and asking permission in a way. *sigh* My thoughts on this... I do want to get married in time, because I think of all the amazing and joyful things in marriage. But getting married at such a young age (nowadays) my cause lots and lots of struggles and hardship. There will always struggles in every relationship and it takes maturity and hopefully the couple can grow from it. But I feel that this is one struggle that can be avoided or lessen if we simply waited (I'm looking at 28 years old). We're not financially secure (college students), STILL in school, very young, and I feel that most guys are not ready to take care of a wife until they're in their late twenties (when they already had their fun and ready to settle down). I worried about the trust in marriage. Becayse of media, I never realize how much husbands and wifes cheat on each other. News, gossip, radio, you name it! I worried. I trust my bf right now, but there will be time were he MAY lust and may fall into temptation- it's human nature to want something you dont have. It's hurtful to say this, but sometimes I just think that being single will prevent heartaches, but loneliness is another heartache too. =) His parents are strict and kinda anal in a way. The father figure is pretty stubborn, since he IS a religious leader (reverend)- he's more of "it's my way or the highway." My parents worry about marrying into a religious family... not that we're bad people, it's just that my bf's family dont often act goofy or play around... they're not really socialable or party people. boohoo. that's a bummer. Everything to them has to be proper at all times, my boyfriend is not that typical pastor's kids (goody two shoes), he's a fun and goofy guy, but the future in-laws arent's. *sigh* *sigh* My goal is, i want to finish school first, then earn some $$ to pay off my student loans, then help out my parents since they're still paying the morgage (my father works to feed a family of 5 including me), then enjoy my freedom (travel, shopping, etc), save $$ for a wedding and home (houses are at least $500K ughh)... but importantly, see what God wants. More con are: by the time I'm 28 - i'll be less wanted because I'll be an old maid(the younger the girl, the sexier and more attractive she is physically-which means, the more she is wanted by men), I not be as horny as I would be compare to younghood ( I havent had sex yet so I dont know if I would enjoy it if I'm older)... Well, this is a long entry. But any advice and inputs? Thanks. I just feel like I have no support in this. I wont fall into pressure, but I dont know if my thoughts and goals are wise or wise enough.
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lizzypooh's Profile

  • Username: lizzypooh
  • Gender / Age: Female, 38
  • Location: USA - California
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    About Me: I am 23 years old living in Southern California and just finished my Bachelor Science in Health Science. I dream of health prevention and environment health specialist and making the world germ free. :)I just got accepted to a Masters program in Nursing. YAY! I have a boyfriend since I was 14, yes that's 9 years now. I can be a dork at times yet very deep, compassionate, and loving to others... that's why I'm becoming a nurse! I am a listener but rarely get listen to. I can be talkative if someone asks, since I dont wanna give a burden to others. I love sushi, mochi ice cream, strawberry crepe, puppies, toddlers, turtles, shopping, dressing up, dressing down, traveling, random roadtrip, and wandering around. I am learning to be patient, forgiving and giving grace to others, but it's hard to change a character! uhhh what else? I hate wet socks! and people who tries too hard to fit in or impress other people- annoying! I rock at making faces and immitating animal sound =).

    Favorite Music: of the seven --> myspace it.

    Favorite Television: simpsons, family guy, mtv, conan o'brien

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