jesssie's Journal

I really hate a lot of people. I honestly, hate a lot of people!! And there are so many flaws of people that I really can't stand.& there are so many flaws in myself, that I really wish didn't exist. It's easier said than done to love yourself and be happy for yourself and who you are. I'm not happy with myself. I don't love myself. I used to, i'll admit. but it has disapeared, and i feel like i have disappeared as well. i no longer feel in touch with myself, or with anyone for that matter. i kind of want to crawl into a hole for a little bit and take a deep look at myself just as an attempt to find me. i miss who i used to be, before highschool started. i miss being able to actually keep a secret;instead i have to tell one person. usually word travels fast. it sucks, and i hate it. but its all life i guess! i really wish i could grow out of this immature phase me and some of my friends are in right now. im kind of deciding between going after something i shouldnt, and just leaving things be. yeah it kind of seems obvious when i say it like that -- but its not. its hard. its difficult, tiring and i guess maybe im too lazy of a person mentally to keep up with it. all i have to say isi miss things. i really truly miss things and im tired of this person i have become. im just plain tired.