alabrat's Journal

 
    
18
Aug 2010
2:50 AM CST
   

It isn't over, just different


What can I say?  You were my knight in shining armor.  My rescuer.  You found me just a shell of a person.  Someone who experienced no love, just routine.  No appreciation, just routine.  No excitement or happiness, just routine.  And you changed it all.  My heart raced just to hear from you each morning.  Sweet little notes scattered in cyberspace, unexpected nothings.... were somethings.  You held all that I had hoped love could be, but had become resolved that it just wasn't.  You changed my world and rocked my foundation.  You helped me find me again.  I had lost myself in all those other labels we and society give us; wife, mom, executive director, manager, etc.  I was me again.   It felt wonderful.  I'd found love. 

But somewhere along the way, somethings became less important.  Conversation. I love you.  Time spent together.  Conversations about nothing... us.  And we too have fallen into the "routine".  There is no importance in the things that we used to spend hours with.  The nothingness that was just you and me, in our love.  That sweet "nothing", "nothing" but us.  The world is with us now and we are less important.  We move through the motions and do what the other expects... most of the time.  We find ourselves standing on the edge and not worrying if it matters to the other.  And sometimes we cross the line.  But without guilt, because, those little things just don't matter anymore.  So what if we miss that time together..... there is tomorrow.  So what if I don't get to call.  Nothing would have been said in that conversation anyway.  It's about work, and stupid drivers and the heat of the summer.  It isn't about my love.  It isn't important.  And so, the conversations aren't either.  We were only love... and that made us grand.  Something neither of us knew.  We had only known the motions. 

And here we are..... in the motions.
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1 comment(s) - 08:40 PM - 08/20/2010
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alabrat's Profile

  • Username: alabrat
  • Gender / Age: Female, 44
  • Location: USA - Mississippi
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