SavanaSSantos's Journal

Oct 2006
7:33 PM EDT

World of depression Depression,

anger Suicide is relief Death by overdose Slit wrists, Jump off a bridge Resentment, Jealousy, Dispair, Bitterness They're all you feel right now Give up on life, Give up on caring, Give up on hopes, Give up on dreams, Give up on ambitions. Welcome to the world of depression Wanting to cry Wanting to feel pain Wanting to isolate yourself Wanting to starve yourself Wanting to drain the humanity from yourself Wanting to cut yourself Wanting to suffer Wanting for death to find you Welcome to the world of depression Happiness is non-existant in this twisted world of mine Misery rules the days Depression the dark nights Out on cold, harsh winter winds Go all remaining hopes and emotions So grab that knife and cut real deep Lie down on the floor and close your eyes forevermore Welcome to the world of depression

How True

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.

Devil's Kiss Steel,

Metal, Sharp Release my pain. Everything to gain, Blood red sins poor out of me. The throbbing feels good, Wanting more. Cutting deeper, Feeling weaker. Feeling faint, Love this game. Deserving this, Devils kiss.

Lost Friendship

I get it I'm invisible Something you cant see You've forgotten I know Or at least you try and forget me But you will find These old times Have a way of creeping up Likes spiders and webs Sending shivers through your spine I know it I've tried before They won't go away The pain is so strong Fading slowly away Until one day You see a note I wrote you Telling you that we'd be friends forever And that I loved you Were going separate ways But I wont disappear You once said you accepted the change But now you wont accept anything You don't wish for my death You don't wish for me to be unhappy You just wish to move on Far away from what we've become To give your heart a rest But you don't understand Its not as easy as that I know it I've tried before It wont go away The pain is so strong Fading slowly away Until one day you find an old photo We were sitting on the couch laughing When you mom snapped the picture unexpectedly One day our paths will cross again You will see that I am happy And I will see your happy too We'll wonder where we'd be If this change never occurred I'm not telling you to come back I'm not saying you have to stay I'm saying if you want to move on Don't forget all the good times we had And I will tell you it hurt either way I can promise you that Because what we had was so good Don't forget me Please remember me smiling Thats how i remember you


These mascara stained tears are meant to break your heart. Why would you end this, just to make it start? I'm confused and ashamed, and I don't know where we're going. How can you be the only one, to pull out my arteries, just to mend my slowly fading heart? I want this ongoing pain to end, and rid me of the thoughts in the back of my mind. I can't breathe, but that's not stopping me from being alive. When I ask you the questions, you take an eternity to deliver your un-soothing answer. My soul quakes/I'll never be the same. You're a walking contradiction, but you do it with so much class. How can I admire you, Cry for you. Scream for you, But never hate you? When I call, you come running...eventually. Stab me to death, with your deep brown eyes. And kill me while we're still one another's desire. Tear out my numb, emotionless heart. Tear out my blackened, agitated soul. Tear out my lungs, but leave me with you as my one last dying breath.

To: _ _ _ _ _ _

I'm so confused about my feelings for you. I dno't know what i should do. Should i let you go, or keep on loving you? You got me so confused. I either love you or hate you. But i can't decide which to do. I hate the way i feel for you. sometimes you make me smile, and sometimes you make me cry. Sometimes i'm happy to be alove and sometimes i wish i could die. I hate the way i cant get over you. There is so many things i want to know the answers to. but they're out of my reach

I wish i had the guts

I know I love you Like I've never loved before And with everyday that passes by I'll just love you more and more Maybe you love me too Maybe just as much Maybe your heart jumps for joy As mine does at your touch You may be standing with me Right by my side But still I feel alone and empty 'Cos your feelings hide I wanna be close to you Maybe you want it too But the unspoken words of our hearts Distance me from you I smile at you everyday Wishing you could see How much I need you in my arms To prove we were meant to be But tomorrow comes And it's still the same I'm tired of playing This never ending game I wish I had the guts To tell you how I feel Show you how perfect we are This is the real deal But for days to come This is how it will be 'Cos nothing ever changes In the lives of you and me

Nobody Knows

Nobody knows what happens, Nobody knows what goes on, Whos hurt, Whos sad, Whos grieving the loss of a loved one. Nobody knows, Nobody cares, Nobody would waste their time to find out. Behind the walls of another room, Someone is tortured by sadness, By the discomfort of being hated, They wonder why, They wonder how.

No boy could ever love me

There was a boy who kept you laughing; a boy who shared your firsts. then you met a boy who just seemed perfect. the boy to bring home to dad. but you'll never forget the boy who fell for you exactly when you fell for him. he was the boy, the only boy who cared when you left. it was beautiful, but you ran scared. scared to be secure scared to be mature. you just hope each day that he will realize you're never going to look for any other boy, but him.

Love's Test

When you have to make a decision every choice has a flaw. which way will you turn when your heart has met a fork. You love this one but that one makes you melt. this one shows he cares but that one has the biggest heart. This one is slacking and that one is just beginning. This one is hurting you and that one makes you forget all your worries. this one or that one which one will you choose. The one who brings tears to your eyes or the one who kames you smile this is love's test and your just getting started.

A little Advice

Love is something that everyone questions at some point in time. Everyone thinks it will never happen to them. Then they go and open their hearts to everyone that walks into their lives. Their heart breaks so many times and then they get depressed and cry. When they finally find that special someone they are so afraid of getting their hearts broken that they sometimes ruin it. They don't trust anyone. Other times they give it a shot and it lasts. They are afraid of rejection and that their baby will leave them. They bottle up their feelings and never let them go. They never tell their boyfriend or girlfriend how they feel. They think that every guy actually means they love them but really most of them just want to get in their pants. Don't get me wrong there are a few of them that really do care for you and aren't thinking about ways to get in your pants but there aren't very many in high school. People just love the concept of having a boyfriend or girlfriend. Then when it all comes crashing down they are confused and don't have a clue why it ended. The thing is love strikes when it wants to. You shouldn't rush love. Just sit back and enjoy your life. There is someone out there for everyone and you will find that one guy or girl. And when you find that person no matter how long you have been together you will get butterflies every time you hear their name, or every time you see their picture, or every time their screen name pops up or every time their name shows up on your caller ID. Love is something you don't play with. If you play games with peoples hearts Karma tends to kick your ass in the end. And you end up heart broken while they are happy. I guess what I am trying to get at is don't play games with peoples hearts and don't give up on love because there is someone out their that cares about you and you might not know who it is but there is someone. You might not have even met them yet or you might not talk to them often or you might think that they are just people that you don't talk to because they aren't cool but they are there and they still care about you even if it is from a distance.

I don't know!!!

I don't know what to do I don't know how I am going to live through this This love It was fine at the beginning And now its coming to a ruin Thanks to others Thanks to the people who talk to my lover And say we wont last forever Because we argue They think its lust not love But whatever I've realized this was all a game So you could have someone to hold I don't know!

The Greatest Irony of Love

The Greatest Irony of Love Loving the right person at the wrong time, having the wrong person when the time is right and finding out you love someone right after that person walks out of your life... And sometimes, you think you're already over a person, but when you see them smile at you, you'll suddenly realize that you're just pretending to be over them just to ease the pain of knowing that they will never be yours again... For some, they think that letting go is one way of expressing how much they love that person... in my opinion, some are afraid to see the one they love being held by someone else... Most relationships tend to fail not because the absence of love. Love is always present. It's just that one was being loved too much and the other was being loved too little... As we all know that the heart is the center of the body but it beats on the left. maybe that's the reason why the heart is not always right... Most often we fall in love with the person we think we love but to only discover that for them we are just for passing time, while the one who truly loves us remains either a friend or a stranger... So here's a piece of advice; Let go when you're hurting too much. Give up when love isn't enough. And move on when things are not like before... It's certain... there is someone out there WHO WILL LOVE YOU EVEN MORE...

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  • Username: SavanaSSantos
  • Gender / Age: Female, 28
  • Location: USA
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    About Me: Hey My names is Savana and I'm a ninth grader at palmer high school in Co. Springs Colorado. I play on the volley ball team and i'm trying out for soccer at the end of the year. I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND JUSTIN!!! <3 I love all my friends too. my best friend in the whole world is Codie . Shes awesome. I've known her all my life (literally) she finally has a boyfriend that cares for her which makes me really happy. They're so cute together too :D well, i'm a very sweet loving person in case you can't tell. I don't like to hurt anyone. Sure i have a few enimies but the one i just made got mad at codie cuz they weren't on her top friends on myspace. Speaking of myspace. i have one... thr url is: but if i don't know you in person i won't add you sorry. a rule with my parents :D

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