Nodeadenz

Aug 2010
8:21 AM EDT

Omg

First we went to church briefly, then to a gathering his sister hosted it was nice. But his brother kept scrutinizing me not sure why. He staring made me ansy though I started to ask wtf is your problem! .... later that eveining he got drunk and urinated in the closet thinking he was in the restroom. I was mad as hell, I thought to give him the ax immediatley .
He inquired why I say Iam unworthy and when I told him he informed he already knew. He baited me into confirming his suspcions about my my former life. Every has a past I chose not to disclose mine. If I could have have kept it hidden for eternity I would have. He tells me I could talk to him about anything, this is a blatant lie. His face was contorted with anger and hurt, there is some tension btwn us. Were working through it though, this is the first time I didnt run for the damn door literally. Im amazed that he still ove me, he is so wonderful@ times that is lol.

rite now Iam exhausted mentally as well as physically. Iam supposed to do everything and be everyone.
For once Iam going to do me fuck everyone else I cant keep taking care of other people needs and neglecting my own. Im bout to break down I cant take much more of the bullshit. Not sleeping enough, not eating have been late to work a couple time this week. My check disappeared, my house is nasty. Antoinette claimed she was going clean the kitchen, of course she didnt follow through. She was here for a couple days and am glad she left. She's loud ghetto and rude,trouble pursues her. Not sure what is going on over there with jr but it aint my fucking problem I want none of that. Guess she believe giving me twenty dollars was doing something. Dont know what is preventing her from getting a damn job or social service.