ok� here I go, over the weekend I went to walt's house. Before I went I� prefaced the conversation with Iam not going to have sex with you I guess he thought I was playing I was fo real. Nothing went down except for the fact that he ignored me.I layed there with my back to him pretending to be sleep for a long time. I got tired of that so I got up got dressed and headed for the door. He agreed to be a gentle man and just hold me. Of course, I should've known� this would never work. After all he is not�daymon, he was a cheap stand in for what /whom I really wanted. What am I doing?� Fucking up the chance that things could've progressed with daymon. We talked frequently about numerous things from religion, relationships family the list is endless. Not sure why I enjoy him, he is quite nosy ! Larry called me this weekend for what reason I dont know. He called to tell me what Daymon thinks of me and what� he is really like. Men are stupid! Where did he get the impression that he had a chance in hell with me. I never gave any inkling that I wanted him.
Oh yeah about today Iam in a slump. No reason my life has gone to shit. Iam not living more like the walking� dead. Iam so fucked up. Havent done shit today, not a damn thing. Just have no motivation, (takling to Daymon right now). I wonder what is up with daymon he isnt like his� optimistic self. I just told him that I am not going to call him anymore, he made me feel bad like it was all me the other night. He initiated what transpired btwn us. Last night when he called and I called him back same thing aloof/ distant.� I guess he only wants to chat with me when there is drama. Dont want to stand in his way of him and god. He acted as if he didnt want to chat with me, cool n.p. I� beat him to the punch , I can read btwn the lines. Tony called me this morning told me I was hostile toward him. Ya think? He's made his agenda clear he wants to fuck,I dont. Where is the confusion?� the time we've been aquainted has been long, yet there is no direction or common goal.� Simply put bullshit lies and deceit. Dont want to travel down that road again.� Hopefully Mr. Right will step on the scene cause the men that I have been engaging arent worthy! This includes Daymon. Iam done with him, if he does call me, fine but I wont be calling him. He blamed me for his actions how dare he not take responsibility for pawing all over me. When he satiated his lust, he was ready for me to leave how convienient!
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