Why is everything so complicated?
Why not anybody but me?
Then again, I wouldn't wish this type of pain on anyone. The feeling that one minute you are okay, then your mind starts to reel and brings back memories and all of a sudden it feels like you just jumped off the highest building in the world and you're about to hit the ground.
What would I be like if none of this had happened to me? Would I be happy? Would I be able to sleep? Would I still wake up every morning wishing I hadn't? Would everything be okay?
Why is it that the people who tell you they are there for you, end up being the first to leave your side? Or at least it feels like it sometimes. I need them to talk to me sometimes about it. When I first told them they said they would be there for me. Now, I need them to prove it. I need to know that I can talk to them about it. I need someone to talk to. About everything.
I feel the pain getting heavier. I don't understand how it does that. Why can't it just all go away? Maybe I'll just have to make it go away, once and for all...
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