Phyl's Flashes

 
    
19
Jan 2009
3:26 AM PDT
   

Delivering Dan

Saturday morning started just like it usually does. The call came just as we were heading out the door for our walk.

Dan hadn't gotten far from our house when he drove his car blindly into the curb. The tire blew out, the rim was ruined and after Bear put the spare on we found that the damage was much worse - the spare was on right but it was crooked, oh crap! How much is this going to cost?!

As the story goes (as always) it wasn't his fault, the window was fogged up and the sun blinded him completely so when he made the left onto McDowell he just couldn't see where he was going and hit the turned out curb for the bus stop. Ok, now what?

He has to get to work, I go back home to borrow his brother's car so he can get going. He & Dad wait for the tow truck which will take his car to BigO. He heads off to work while we handle everything - as usual.

Long boring story cut short: BigO says it'll be $2500 to repair. The car isn't worth that much - not that he has it in the first place! Ok, now what? He has to have a car.

Dan & Dad went out on Sunday and got him another. It's very sharp. Hope he can make the payments...

Why am I writing about this? Because what occured to me is that as soon as�we took his call�about what happened, his problem became OUR problem! Why is that?�I/We don't know how to stand back and watch our�children suffer.�And - he isn't even a child, he's 21, he should be handling his own problems!

I keep writing (ranting) about what he should have done, what he should've known, then I backspace it out!�I'm not getting to what I'm really trying to get at here.

What are my feelings?

I'm mad, I'm resentful. He ruined my day, I didn't get to exercise and then I worried all day after that. The thought "what is he going to do?" kept buggin me.� All his recent screw-ups came flooding in to cloud up my thoughts and keep me from dealing with the here and now. I feel like I'm being overwhelmed with worries.�

1 - My dog�is dying.

2 -�My father is mourning.

3 - now this!!

As I look at it now it really doesn't seem like it should be overwhelming.�I've outlined�them�extremely short, each issue, on it's own, is very intense. Understand all the attachments to each one, there is too much!

I'm bummed, that's it.

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