Phyl's Flashes

 
    
18
Jun 2008
11:55 PM PDT
   

Progress

Today�we have another chance to move forward. We talked about everything last night and we came away feeling optomistic.

Here's what happened yesterday:

Lori got their invitation to Mandy's engagement party and emailed me that they wouldn't be coming. She says what we thought she'd say: It's Ryan' s b-day. They�want to take him out for dinner, and that she already had a gig to attend� during the�day with Milana. While she tells me how special becoming engaged is, and that she realizes that Mandy is leaving for Portland soon, she's "so bummed" to decline the invitation.

We saw this coming. We feared our reactions. We avoided our fear ruling our actions, (so far).

I think that our relationship with Lori is precious to us. We need to protect it. Don't let this come between us - (and boy it could!)�

Here's the core issue at hand: We believe that Lori's excuse�is a smoke-screen for her real reason. That reason�is what�has the potential to damage our relationship the most, we believe that she grapples with our daughter being gay and is afraid to attend this party because it would be in her face too much.�I think she hasn't dealt with it�since Mandy came out 5yrs. ago. She's had opportunity but side-stepped it.�

There is always the chance that I am wrong. (One could always hope).�

I responded to her�email in as few words possible, just a couple sentences to say that her family comes first,�that�I understand and they'd be missed. She responded quickly, revealing some back-peddling on her story: she�corrects me in that, "we are�her family", she points out that because of Ryan's b-day�even her plans for that day were iffie (which�establishes their priority is their family)�Lastly, she hands the baton to Luis (pointing out her lack of authority in making decisions), which in my opinion is another effort to side-step.

Wait for it... I'm sure a total effort at diverting my attention will come today.

What she doesn't know is that whatever they decide will be accepted, we will love them through this. Allowed to be 'off the hook' may bring an enlightenment for them.

Everyone� in their own time.

�������������

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