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    Talacia  33, Female, Australia - 20,891 views
25
May 2007
2:58 AM EST
   

GOOOOOOD MOOOORNNINNGGG!!!
altho its afternoon!!!!
im happppppyyyy :-)
1 comment(s) - 03:11 AM - 05/24/2007
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    cantalope320  27, Female, Canada - 1,863 views
19
Sep 2006
1:12 PM F
   

I want a dog just like this one!
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    AcousticWinter  33, Female, Arizona, USA - 15,435 views
18
Nov 2007
6:42 PM EDT
   

My mom always said to people, "Have some respect for the dying!"

She said this when she'd go outside to smoke... or when she'd reach for her shot of ta-kill-ya... and now I realize that the one thing I never wanted, I've become.

Her quote makes me realize that I'm slowly killing myself and there's nothing I can do about it. Maybe if I quit now, I could give myself another chance... but I've tried this already, have I not?

Rays death proved it. I care more for myself than for anyone else and it's literally killing me. My own death draws near and I don't do a god damned thing about it.

I don't even know who I am anymore.
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    please6kill6me6  32, Male, Arizona, USA - 3,519 views
27
Sep 2006
10:13 AM EDT
   

Well. Things are better. Sorry I haven't written in ages. I've been busy. Life isn't that bad anymore. Because my dad emailed me and we started talking and I realized I need to look at the good things. And the good things are my friends. Today was James Hetfeild day. From Metallica? yea. Me and my friends either wore all black or wore a shirt with James Hetfield on it. yep. All my friends are metallica freaks. so am i. so i can't complain. hehe. tomorrow is aiden day, and December 8 is dimebag day. (daryl abbot- guitarist of pantera) Well. Social Services didn't fuck up my life. and. I uh.....there's this guy that i met yesterday. John. I see potential there. hehe. And Wes keeps looking at me during first. It annoys me. I want nothing to do with him because he reminds me of Tony. By the way. Tony emailed my ex. Len. They are fighting over me. Yay. I hope Tony doesnt think he can charm his way into my life by saying he actuallly cares. cuz he doesnt. Fool me once shame on you fool me twice shame on me. haha. Cody...I'm worried about him, he was crying two days ago...I don't know how to help him though because I don't know how to get him to talk to me. I might... write a note or something. I'm trying to get a job. And when i do. I'm buying a laptop. cuz i need one. more than anything i need one. I dont own a computer. but im one of those kids who love computers. so yea. I'm writing an essay on gay rights. so yay me! im FOR it. hehe. idk...things are better. but the minute i stop working or writing or reading, the minute i fall asleep, tony escapes into my thoughts. is that love? i dont even know if he loves me. thats the worst part. is not being able to talk to him, to ask him. "hey how do you feel about me?" i used to. but...he goes to college now. and...i can't call him because my parents hate him. and i have to act like he's a bitch. well i have to go... later peeps!!! -my trenchcoat mafia family rocks.
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    Cumber  34, Female, Arizona, USA - 1,773 views
20
Sep 2006
4:22 AM PST
   

Ok so just a few days ago my boyfriend of three and a half years decides that he doesn't knows what he wants anymore....devastated i called my good friend alicia and told her what happened. she tells me that i can't be in that kind of relationship and to try and end it or something. so the next time my boyfriend and i talked he had said that he just doesn't see the diffrence between us being friends versus us being a couple....that was pretty much a slap in the face to me. so i said that we weren't a couple any more and ended it saturday night. it was so hard for me to start telling people the bad news...none of my friends knew highschool without jared and i being a couple. it was really devasting to alot of different people. my mom didn't find out until sunday night....even then i couldn't tell her face to face, i texted her and told her what had happened. everyone that i told got the goosebumps. no one even saw it coming. it was hard-hitting news. my own brother didn't even believe me at first. but once he finally believed me he was behind me 100%. all of my friends have really. my cousin, when my sister told her, started to cry. everyone was hurt, not just me. that following monday at school was really awquard. he wasn't even acting like any thing happened that weekend. he still expects us to be really good friends and hang out and stuff,and i would LOVE to, but he doesn't understand how hard it is for me to retain myself from hugging him or kissing him. i love him so much. i just dont understand. so im trying not to talk to him or hang out with him, you know? just give him some space for right now, but its hard because he is everywhere
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    jleigh09  37, Female, United Kingdom - 33,340 views
21
Mar 2007
5:01 PM WEDT
   

Sorry i havnt been on in such a while i no longer live with my parents so dont get to update much. i have got my own flat now i live with my partner and my son. Everything in pretty good tyler is more content and iam alot happier having a bit my independance and a bit more of a routine with tyler. Things havnt been to great between me and steven there is not give or take with him he never meets me half way. and i avoid arguing as much as i can coz he always walks out and i hate it, its not fair on me or tyler. i feel like most days i do everything the cleaning the cooking the washing and dealing with tyler bathing him feeding him etc etc ...... most the time things are ok just some days he can be really selfish. I feel like i dont exsist we are really struggling with money as he lost his job the first week we moved in so things are tight i feel like i have no nice clothes i never feel attractive. He never makes me feel attractive. we dont make love as much as we used to there must be something wrong with me he just not as interested only when he wants it and how he wants it what ui want never seems to matter i made myself look real nice the other day i looked feminen and attractive i felt really good and my sister said i looked nice and made a nice effort. All steven could say was ........why? i dont think he meant it to sound the way it did but i just feel like he never notices me. we never go out coz we are so skint i mean dont get me wrong things are good it just the lil things u know seem to be fading away a bit. anyway gotta go and shouldnt moan there are still people worse off then me .

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    heartbreak2007  35, Female, Pennsylvania, USA - 33,354 views
26
Jun 2007
3:43 PM EDT
   

Hey what's p? Not too much here just chilling up in my friends house. Well um......I am back with my boyfriend and he has a week to get his shit together or he is out and I am done because I have till August to find a place and come up with money to get my own place.
Ash
Tags: Thanx
2 comment(s) - 10:32 PM - 06/26/2007
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    Theblues1  54, Male, Pennsylvania, USA - 4,825 views
17
Oct 2006
9:30 AM EDT
   

Im ok today woke up at 10 laying around and getting ready to leave soon its going to be an ok day
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    Lissy  48, Male, Pennsylvania, USA - 2,230 views
21
Sep 2006
11:28 AM EDT
   

There isn't really that much to know about me and it's my first onlive diary...
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    lovely1  34, Female, Pennsylvania, USA - 1,819 views
21
Sep 2006
5:52 AM PDT
   

PiMPiN AiNT EASY!!!
1 comment(s) - 10:41 AM - 03/13/2007
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    cyberlullaby  35, Female, Pennsylvania, USA - 1,617 views
21
Sep 2006
10:07 AM EST
   

Tell me this in the dictionary the following definition is what love is. 1. A profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. 2. A feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child or friend 3. Sexual passion or desire 4. A person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart 5. A love affair; an intensely amorous incident; amour But it seems like the world just can't get the fact that love isn't just between a man and a woman, but also between two women or two men.
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    SkaterKitty  33, Female, Texas, USA - 10,514 views
22
Apr 2007
5:37 AM CST
   

I'm on myspace. so add me if you guys have it....
www.myspace.com/elizabethlewis_2008

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    butterfly05  37, Female, Texas, USA - 4,948 views
23
Oct 2006
9:14 AM EDT
   

Yes everyone keeps telling me I am a b**** lately... Well it's because nothing seems to make me happy lately I mean nothing!!!... When I get something in my life to look forward to it never happens.. So I try to look at things on the bright side as I always have had to do in my life just to get by. Im tired of people being on my case about how I am this is me and im not changing so listen up... Yes you always see a smile on my face but 90% of the time its fake, when people talk to me i dont listen i just nod cuz im in my own world . I worry all day long about certain things that most of you have no clue about that go on in my life. You can say you know me but you really dont Hell I dont even know myself Im still trying to figure myself ouT! if i dont answer your calls get a clue dont keep trying i hate that s***. Theres only a hand full of people I can truely say I love and two that i care about. I dont see me changing back to the way I used to be until i can find a way to be happy... So now you know why I am a BITCH as you say but I say its just me like me or dont.
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    YourEveryPain  34, Female, United Kingdom - 3,330 views
27
Oct 2006
2:52 PM GMT
   

Aaaaahhhhhhhhh :) have just met a guy. Hooray! Name's Ian. We're getting on well and although I don't really know him, there's a spark! x
1 comment(s) - 03:57 PM - 05/08/2007
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    Mariah  31, Female, Canada - 1,956 views
30
Sep 2006
11:40 AM EDT
   

Yay Did I tell you that my bestfriend broke up with her boyfriend just for me, now im dating him and she doesnt even care, gawd im so in love lol I just love him so much..........
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    FAG  49, Male, Texas, USA - 2,202 views
22
Sep 2006
9:19 PM EDT
   

I only want one girl and knowing that i cant have her is the worst thing .other then that i had a wonderful time wif yew you tonite love<3 hmm yes so if your readin this remember i will love you forever no matter wat<33
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    gunsnroses  31, Female, Greece - 12,435 views
19
Nov 2006
6:38 AM EDT
   

i miss you...i miss you so bad.. :(
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    forgotten  33, Female, United Kingdom - 5,436 views
22
Nov 2006
11:46 AM ACST
   

hallelujah - imogen heap, such a moving song... feel so empty tonight, grandads leaving in 3 days... guna be so argh just so horrible thinking tha it may be the last time... i know it may not be, but who knows? hes 76 and i just have a feelin it is the last time, and i just hate this gut feeling i have! its just like i dont want to have any regrets..i had it last time with my nan i can remember it exactly, it was the day i got home from holiday with claire from south of france last year, and my nan came in hugged me at the beginnin however i had such a terrible cold, and after she had dinner with us all tha evenin she was really quiet... she just listened to all my stories...and she said to my mum she felt tired and my mum said stay... but my nan bein who she was wanted to get home... and wen she called me down to say gdbye, i said i wont kiss you nan because i have a really bad cold... and i didnt kiss her and ever since then im jsut worried ill make a mistake like that that will stop me not doin somethin wen its the last itme i could do it...
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    SweetRain  33, Female, Canada - 1,683 views
24
Sep 2006
12:59 PM EDT
   

Huh...that little thing tha Abraham said makes complete sense, its actually a great thing to live by....Yeah i know i am rather pathetic at writing journals, when i picture pepope writing journals i always see them writing these things that are full of meaning, i guess i just write about what ever happens to be in my head at the moment, i write about the trivial things in life...they are more fun anyway and tend to have the most impact on people so i as i like to say what ever lights your fire (well i have many variations of the same phrase). But I have sme homework that i have been putting off all weekend, well actually since thursday, its due tomorrw....*sigh* when will they ever find the cure for procrastination?
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    CarbonBlack  34, Female, Texas, USA - 2,121 views
24
Sep 2006
4:03 PM EDT
   

NOTE: The crazy almost brother-in-law was a psychopathic un-dead hobo who was going to marry their older sister. they got him put in jail though. I broke out a bottle of rum from the liquor cabinet. "Oh, please. We just got rid of that nutjob almost-brother-in-law, and we ARE celebrating, so stop acting like a girl." Xalberox twitched and glared at me. Ah, the silly little games we play. " Fuck you, Pallestellen! I'm NOT acting like a girl." I just laughed, drawing a small growl from my moody companion, and poured about half a glass of rum for him. He snatched the glass and glared daggers at me, and again I chuckled before taking a swig out of the bottle. "Don't worry about it," I said, ruffling his hair slightly and almost getting bit in the process. "We'll just stay in our room. No one'll have to know you were drinking at all except you and I." He looked me over suspiciously, then stared at the drink in his hands. "You're trying to drug and rape me, aren't you?" I laughed and took another mouthful of my poison of choice. "We both know damn well that I don't have to drug you to get you naked." He growled again, though more audibly, and looked like he was debating on chucking the glass at me. Apparently he decided against it though, and He took a small sip of the alcohol, apparently not hating it too much.. Half an hour later, when Xalberox had taken maybe five sips of the rum, and I'd downed a quarter of what was in the bottle, I wasn't exactly surprised that he was well on his was to being plastered, and I hadn't even managed much of a buzz yet. I've gotta tell ya, X-box being drunk was pretty fucking adorable. I don't think he's ever drank without me making him, so he's still quite the lightweight. We were sitting in bed, alcohol in hand, and X-box was babbling while I logged every last thing he said into the back of my mind, to laugh at later. " Big-brother.. big-brother, hey.. " he said, a thick alcohol-flush on his cheeks. " You..You, are SO hott." I couldn't help but laugh as he cuddled up against my side. Big-brother? Hell, I haven't head that come out of his mouth since we were three. I've gotta get him drunk more often. " Yeah, I know am. " Yes, I'm proud of my looks. Fucking sue me. Besides, it's not like that phrase is a regular occurence coming from him, I've gotta enjoy it while I can, ya know? I nibbled one of his ears, as I do at any opportunity I have and can get away with it, because I adore those fluffy little ears of his, and he nestled closer into my side with a precious, and somewhat.. perverse-sounding little noise. Because I love it when perverse-sounding noises come out of X-box, I repeated the action to the other ear (naturally), and gave him what I had intended to be a chaste kiss. Sadly, the contents of my pants seemed to have gotten the better of me, and what was going to be a strictly affectionate kiss quickly turned into a full-blow make-out session. Okay, so it didn't even come close to the "sadly" category. Shut up. It was a matter of minutes before I had X-box pinned under me, my tongue violating his mouth, one hand creeping up his shirt and the other trailing along the hem of his pants while he clung to me, legs loosely around my hips and arms around my neck, pulling me deeper into that lovely kiss of ours. Eventually I managed to force our lips apart, earning a disappointed whine. I gave a quick smooch to a corner of his mouth and slipped his glasses off his face, setting them on a bed-side table (Gotta remember to take those off him. He gets pretty pissed when we break them by accident). I moved my oral ministrations to his neck, just under his jaw line, nibbling and nipping while my hands worked to un-do the first few buttons on his shirt. Honestly, he's lucky I don't just pull all the damned things off, they're such an inconvenience. Once enough buttons had been taken care of, I moved to kissing and sucking at the crook of his neck, running my tongue along some still-healing bite marks there from a couple nights ago (if anyone would have cared to look, they'd see I had matching claw marks adorning both my shoulder-blades). Xalberox moaned, and his legs' grip on my waist tightened as he grinded his hips into my own. Jesus, I love how responsive he can get. I decided that I needn't spend any more time working over his neck, and went back to getting rid of that troublesome shirt or his. A little teasing is fun, though. So, I undid the buttons slowly, kissing and nipping at the heated flesh of his chest and stomach as I worked my way down to the bottom of the shirt. He sang out some -delicious- sounds. "Ah~...Big-brother.." He purred out in a huskily when I'd gotten the shirt completely undone and suckled lightly on the flesh just below his bellybutton. I swear to God Almighty, X-box is DAMN lucky I have a little self control, because the tone of his voice right then had almost gotten him tackled to the floor and screwed within an inch of his life. I shuddered and nipped at his navel sharply, receiving a gasp and two sets of fingers tangled into my hair in return (I hadn't noticed until then, but I guess he must have tugged my pony-tail out. My hair almost always ends up down by the end of the night, and I rarely realize it until i'm half asleep). I proceeded with clothing removal, slipping his pants off him then and leaving him in just his boxers before sitting up. Well.. trying to sit up. With someone clinging to you like he was to me, it's a little difficult. The problem was solved pretty quickly though. I suppose baby brother realized my intentions, and decided to help out instead, finding the bottom hem of my shirt and tugging it up over my head in a vaguely shy manner. It's sort of silly that he still blushes with me all the time. It's not like we haven't been seeing each-other naked our whole lives or anything. I'm not complaining, though. Once my shirt was gone, he went straight to fumbling with the button on my jeans. Unfortunately, the alcohol must have thrown off his coordination a little, because he seemed to be having a bit of a problem. Being the oh-so-considerate person I am, I decided to help him out. I put my hands over his and tried to help him get the button undone. Well, apparently buttons were just conspiring against me today. After about four seconds of trying to get the damn thing un-done, I figured it would be more easy to grab a pocket-knife and just cut the button off. That problem being solved, I tugged the jeans off, along with the boxers under them, and went on my way raping flushed little X-box's mouth with my own. Briefly, I grinded my hips against his, coaxing out a couple more of those sounds me makes that I love so much, before stealing his boxers away as well and sending them to join the rest of the clothes on the floor. I'm a dick, so I'm obligated to tease a little more before I let anything worth-while happen. Gingerly, I ran my fingertips up the length of his already-hard member (And who could blame him for being hard already? Not me, that's for sure. That's a level of hipocrisy I'm not comfortable with), eliciting some squirms and a com-fucking-pletely captivating little whimper. ..Alright, fuck teasing. Like I said before, I have a -little- willpower. That killed it; Game over. Before you could even blink, I'd found the tube of lubrication that's kept next to our bed, and had both our members well-covered in it. Instead of flipping X-box over on to his stomach, which is a position that makes kisses somewhat difficult, I sat up, bringing him with me. I situated us so I was kneeling on the bed, with him in my lap. I Continued to kiss him senseless for a while before lifting his hips, and slowly pushing past his little ring of muscle. I let a low, hushed groan pass my lips, and Xalberox gasped slightly, burying his face into the crook of my neck and digging his nails into my shoulders. Fallowing a minute or so of allowing him to get re-used to the feeling, I wrapped the fingers of one hand around his his sex and began pumping. After momentarily enjoying the fresh array small moans my dearest was making, I began thrusting into him in time with the movements of my fist, holding his hips steady with my free hand. I kept a steady pace at first, but as Xalberox's moaning increased in volume, I sped both my hips and hand. I rotated between biting and nipping and his neck, and kissing him ardently, though after a bit of time the kisses died off in favor of keeping up the oxygen supply to our bodies. X-box, having always had trouble keeping his voice down during sex, had even less control over his voice under the influence of alcohol, and I was positive he'd woken up everyone in the house by then. I wasn't about to mention it, though. I like all the noise, to hell with the rest of the house. I particularly like his yelling of " Bigbrother! ". As mentioned before, it's not a phrase I hear very often, and it sounds positively delicious slathered in lust like that. All good things come to an end though, and finally, I felt the nails in my shoulders rake down my back (drawing blood, as per usual), along Xal's seed spilling over my fingers, and shortly afterwards I'd released into him as well. I pulled out of him and we collapsed on the bed, panting and clinging at eachother. 15 minutes or so later, I scooped X-box out of bed for a quick little shower, dried us both off, and then we cuddled up lazily in bed until we'd fallen asleep. Come morning, We'd gotten dressed and headed downstairs for breakfast. Unsurprisingly, Not a single person aside from ourself looked like they had gotten any sleep, and were glaring at us from across the table all through the meal. Eventually, X-box had broken down and asked the room "Why's everyone look so pissed this morning?", to which the reply had been that no one had gotten any sleep over all the noise he was making. He looked a little confused for a moment and said, "But, I don't even remember last night.." After a momentary pause, he turned suddenly, glaring at me. " This is YOUR fault, isn't it? " I grinned. " It's not my fault you can't be quiet in bed." I promptly had a small plate broken over my head, and Xalberox stormed out of the room with a thick blush, thus starting another day.
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