lholland123's Journal

 
    
19
Jan 2007
8:23 AM EDT
   

so where to start off. i recently started cyber school and its not to hard its good at times but things i dont like about it are how my mom and step dad check it ALL the time. not that thats the problem but then they are on my back about it all the time and its really annoying like i can do it so let it go and telling me how i have to read a whole book in one night. thats not how i learn things. and they dont LISTEN. and idk its weird cuz one minuite my mom is screaming at me and the next shes all happy with me and idk what thats all about.so i got grounded about 4 weeks ago because i used to do some things that i guess you can say werent good and she always asked me if i did these things and i was always like no but what kid is just gonna come out and say "yes mom i drink and i tried pot and im not a virgin" really i mean come on. i dont drink anymore or smoke and i dont want to anymore i mean im trying so hard now to please them but its just like well they keep holding it against me and saying like well maybe if you didnt do the things you did. ok i know i did them you dont have to remind me i dont remind you on mistakes you made as a kid. because i know half of the stuff that went on that they think im to dumb to know. and my dad (real dad). well i just think of myself as not having a dad. i mean he was a good dad i guess when i was younger. but now its like he still thinks im a little kid n i dont know the things he does he smokes well you know. and he drinks ALL the time. and he gets really mean when he drinks. and he always yells and threatens everyone and hes just to much. i couldnt take living with him. im greatful for everything i have in the house im in but my mom and step dad dont think i am not and when i said i dont like living in a big house it didnt mean i didnt like this house but when i get older i dont want to live in a big house that is what im saying. and right now i just want to get a job so i can get money to get a car and my insurance and save money so i can move out. i know it will be hard. but im just better off on my own i dont like people hanging over my shoulder. and telling me how to live. just like with the college thing. i did want to go but not when people are telling me straight out your going to college let me make my own choices i mean who am i going for you? or so i can make the best out of my life. let me do what I want with MY life. well besides that i have been going out with Kenny for 2 weeks and 6 days and i never had this feeling before. i really think i love him. and as for my wuz ( cousin emily) well weve been hanging out a lot more since im grounded and we got closer and i freaking love her shes the person i am closest to. when we go to family things its like me and her are still together even though we live together. its like the only close people in our family are emily and i. it doesnt matter that shes 20 and im 15. because we are on the same level no matter what people try to tell us. its just that people think that since shes 20 she has to be all grown up and not have fun anymore. and im not "mature enough" for the things she is allowed to do. well they think so. because if you kicked me and her out of the house. we would be just fine. like we were when we got kicked out for 6 hours. we were. FINE. i mean i love my family but sometimes they can be to much. well glad i got that all out. Peace. Lyd E Uhhh
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1 comment(s) - 02:10 PM - 01/19/2007
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lholland123's Profile

  • Username: lholland123
  • Gender / Age: Female, 35
  • Location: USA - Pennsylvania
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    LHOLLAND123's Interests:

    About Me: I am 15 i like to do things on my own and be independent my cousin lives with me and she is my best friend i can tell her anything. i have done some dumb things in my life but we all do. i have a awesome boyfriend and i am pulling my life back together each day.

    Interests: being with people who can make me laugh and i can be myself around. subway with the cuz. apple juice haha. listeni ng to music. staying out all night. the night time in general. going on car rides with the music blasted dancing. sleep. normal stuff.

    Favorite Music: i listen to rap hiphop and rNb.

    Favorite Movies: Crash,sweetest thing,Monsters ball,boyz N the hood,how to deal,Fresh,Barbershop,how high,click,50 first dates and a bunch more

    Favorite Television: wayans brothers,music videos... hmm dont really watch much tv

    Favorite Books: i dont really like to read