darkraven's Journal

 
    
18
Jul 2008
6:17 AM GMT
   

Tired

So, I have been up all night.� Again.� I really should be going to bed more.� I live with the most wonderful man, that I love more than I know how to say.� Yet, most nights he goes to bed alone, and I stay up.

I could go to bed now, but I know I'll just disturb his sleep.� So I postpone. I'll wait until it's nearly time for his alarm, then I'll go and cuddle him - and then I'll finally fall asleep.

In a way, it's better this way.� I know he sleeps better when I'm not tossing and turning and fidgeting next to him.� And I sleep when I would otherwise be on my own here.� And then we get the evening together.� So, it's not all bad.� It's probably for the best.

Except, that isn't the reason I don't go to bed with him.� I stay up because I'm terrified of going to bed, and trying to sleep in the dark, and having nightmare after nightmare, and lying awake in the dark full of anxiety I can't dispell.

So tired.� So very damn tired.

If only being tired was enough to enable me to sleep.

Add Comment:

Current Tags: awake, crying, insomnia, nightmares, sleep, tired

Add Tags:
To add multiple tags, please separate them with comma ( , )





darkraven's Profile

  • Username: darkraven
  • Gender / Age: Female, 50
  • Location: United Kingdom
  •