alyysa :]

well i havent wrote in here in like a centry...theres so much i gotta talk about...well u knoe that boy i talked about in al mi other entryss well thats was the love of mi life. and i got moved 4rm him :[

im in georgia now and it suxss i miss em soo much..well while i was here i fell 4 this boy chriis and he is so amazing after the hurting of moveing away 4rm walter and loosin em to this other gurl i thought id never love somebody again well i did i fell 4 chirss words dont even describe him he just wowed me the day i met him, so i me and walter had ended up becuming bestfriends again and we started tellin eah other bout erthing and i told em bout chris well i didnt kno hed take that as permission to get anew gurlfriend well he did and now hes wit sum gurh that i think he loves more then me and shes soo much prettier then me thats the sad partt.n me n em promised each other wed end up togehter and wat if he stays with her,,then i lost him :[ i hate the thought of that but i mean i kinda did it. so bak to chris in me we broke upp ok so i had got caught skippen skewl and i was gunna get in trouble so i asked chriz to leave skool wit me and walk me half way sumwhere and now we got in trouble 4 skippin and mi principle is tryin to get em 4 sagatory rape cuz hes 19 soo we had to break up to prevent it ..so here i am hurt and lonely again missen walter and chriss.i mean i realli think im hopeless with boysss. so i stoped worrien bout them now im just focusenen on skool and graduatingg.so georgia aint soo bad now that ive been here.besides that mi dads around godd i dont even wanan start that topic. so im not even gunna well mi hands hurtt lol so ima get offf here

well....I DIDNT EVEN GET MI PHONNE BAK !!!!! i want it bakk so bad.. but watever mi ma was trippen sooo bad 4 no aparent reason, first of all i had to walk home 4rm skool (which is the longest walk of mi lyfe ) and then she started trippen 4 no reason, uh so drives me nuts... so i walkd to mamas house and waited 4 her to get home 4rm workk i mite be movin wit her cuz i cant deal wit mi mom anyymore!!..& then theresss mii� dumb ass boyfriend!!!!!!!! i swear he pisses me off so bad.. i ttalk to him last nite and we specifically talked about how he ignores me in skool and he said he dont mean to and hell stop and blah blah!!!!! thenn we cum to skooll AND HES STILL DOINNG IT MAN FUCK IT...like on sum reall shit im bout to act like we dotn even go 2gether im gunna do wateva...hes a ass in skool.. im just so over caring anymore.. and then im walkin down the hall cumin to home rooom. and knoiing i seriously cant stand taylor!!! hes guna go around me and talk to HER! and he aint say shit too me :[ im over it� let him be wit her..im just soo fuckken tired of caring abotu boiiis.. im honestly just gunna go ak to playin erybodyy i dk why i thought i should change 4 him... i miss MELVIN so much i hate it.. and it dont hepl that walter brings his name up ALL THE TIME.. he dont understand that i was in love wit him... I HOPE me and him sumtime get abkk togethher but i just dont see it happeninng plus hess leaviing in l ike 8 days :[ HES GUNNA BE GONE ALL SUMMER im gunna miss his ugly asss...but oh wel i guess..

well....he askedd me out :] yeah u think id be soo geeked concidering i thought i realli realli liked him...its not that i dont like him i just dont like him n skooll..i hate how he acts he acts like he dont even like me...but yet we hung out yesterday after skool and he acts like hes like in love wit me..i dont get it, i think hes just still so worried about wat people are gunan think of us & i dont knoe if i can handle him carring about wat they think, i mean skools almost out and im tryin to not brake up wit him or nothin cuz well hang out durrin the summa and itll be betta..soo we'll see....so yeah we hung out yestaday till like 9...:]] it waas great even tho it was cold as hell outsidee :[ he mett mi brothers, they loved himm i realli love beeing withh him UHHH i just wish hed act how he does outs skool in skooll> � sooo yeah mi phone got tooked !!!!!!! mom was beein soo gay, shes been flippen out soo much latelly i wishh shed stop shes drivin mee insain.....and she so focused on this stupid guy will....i hate that man!!!!i wish wed hurry up and move she sayss shes tryin but yeah wateve......thank god skoools out in 6 MORE DAYS !!!! then dance finally starts kannt waittt....plus i gotta get a summer job...but anywaise i realli hope me and walter last cuz im realli feelin him btu honestly deep down i think we are better just friends but thats not wat i wanttt.. idk guess ill give it sum time

omg yesterdayy i hunng out wit mii boo :] yeah he came over rite after skool but he had to go home early cuz i had dance practice which was soo gay cuz i wannted to hang out with him...so after i got bak from practice EVERYONE WAS GONE�� � i was home alone :]] soo me and him where textin and i told him to get a ride bak over :] so yeahh we hung out tilll like 7 wen his grama got off...and no one even found out :] it was kinda good we hung out cuz we was talkin about us...i love beein wit that boii, but anywaisee mi brotherss will be here innnn like not evenn 5 hours :]]�

well not much has realli happend..me and baby cakes got into this huge arguement last nite cuz hes afraid to go wit me cuz he dont wnt jasmine to get hurt...watever fuck tht� gurl i hatte her..and i wish wed go out n shed try to start shit, cuz id beat her ass...naw but antywaise he so needs to make up his mind cuz im tired of waittin...this boy devonte likes me and wants to go wit me but how can i go wit him wen im waitin onn walter....idkk part of me just wants to give up but then another part of me thinks ive waited way to long jsut to give up you knoee..im just soo confused>< omg and thenn i tell walter about devonte cuz he just wants to be mi bestfriend and all and of course he has to think negative and be like oh he prolley just wanna go wit u cuz of ur past ahd he prolley just wanna fuck and blah blah...i personally think hes the one stuck on mi past still becuz he the one always bringin it upp...mi past aint even that bad!!!! i just happend to talk to alot boys and play alota boys..
i mean if bois can do it why cant gurls (its dumb how if we do it tho it makes us look like a hoe) watervr thoo....im just bnout to be done wit erybody and keep to mi self next yearr evenn tho its gunna be sooooooo hard...i mean cum one now wats high skool wit out boys and partys and flirtinng..itll be boring as hell PLUS im a be dancer next year :]
�ima be wilen out :] ya digg lol kayy well mi words is runnin loww.

okayy soo sundayy i hung out witthh bestfriend rite :]
hes pretty amazing....we walked to wicker park and tlaked or watever then we went to dairy queenn...we hung out all day arm like 3 till 11...i knoe i knoe that dont sound like fun but just being with him satisfies me,sumtimes we dont even do anything but talk i have soo much funn....hes great :] we ll he says that we should be together and that im perfrect 4 em and blahh blahh blahh but he says he aint reday 4 a serious relationship and he cant give me his all rite now..i meanpart of me belives the bullshit but the other part of me thinks hes holdin on to his ex..(even tho i hate that bytch) idkk i personally knoe i could treat him better then she kannn....eryone says im dumb 4 fallin 4 him but i cant help itt...he makes me wanna cum to skool eryday just to see him and he makes me smile 4 no resaon he makes me soo happi and honestly where will i find anyone else like thatt...
well anywaisee enough about boiiis (for once :])
soo mi brothers and mi dad will be up here fridayy...n all i hear outa mi moms mouth is how she wants to get bak wit mi dad...which dont u think that all kids would want there mom 2gether exspecially wen youd get anythinng 4rm themm..well ud think i would but i so dont i think there so wrong 4 each other mi mom trusts me :] and i love that she lets me doo anything i want and if mi daf cums around hes gunna be sooooo protective and fatherishh, idkk i guess thats pretty selfish of me but idk...i mean i want mi mom to be happi but just not with himm :[
sooo� like wat do i do do i just telll axcept it or try to find mi mommy suone else :[
ughhh idkkk....�

wow...well where do i start...so theres this boy rite...
hes suppose to be mi "bestfriend" but i fell 4 em, i knoe thats a nono..but hes so cute and so sweet and soo caring and loveable and i kan trust him with mi lyfe...idk wat to do,well he says he feels the same about me, but i dont see it< he says he dont knoe watd he do wit out me and blah blah but i think its all a lie i think he just wanted summ...which mi dumb ass gave it to emm..yeah we were hangin out and it just happened :[ it was the biggest mistake of mi lyfe...beleive me i regret it

imm so confusedd :[