ab1's Journal

 
    
27
Oct 2006
10:26 PM EDT
   

I'm listening to the country song "Tim MacGraw" and it reminds me of my ex b/c some of the stuff in there I can truly relate to. I can also relate to that song "Don't Forget About Us" because the chorus is something that me and the guy I'm in love with has done time and time again at his aunt's house. I always have a blast with him no matter what mood I was in before. He is so awesome. He is the only person that has ever been able to make me laugh when I think about my friends death, and believe me plenty of people have tried. When I'm with him it's like all of my worries and promblems fade away. I feel so secure, safe, and I know that he won't let nothing bad happen to me. He's so awesome, I truly wish he loved me back. Every since I found out he didn't I haven't even been able to look at another guy without thinking and crying about him. People around here say that I'm very strong physically, but from the mental abuse that I had been through by the age of five was too much and I've been with it for 13 years. When I'm with that one special guy though I know I can be myself and not worry about being judged and it's like all of those years of mental abuse don't exist whether we're alone or with a bunch of people. He's the only guy my cousins, dad, and uncles approve of. He's so awesome and sweet. What I'd give for him to love me like I love him.
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2 comment(s) - 09:29 PM - 11/10/2006
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27
Oct 2006
9:51 PM EDT
   

This November it'll be a full year since one of my bestfriends commited suicide. I'm in love with one of my friends but he said he don't like me like that, but his cousin thinks otherwise by the way he acts. My mom and I are always fighting and arguing. My Dad keeps having to go to the coast and leaving me with my Mom. It's a drag and it's bad because he's the only one that can keep her from jumping down my throat every five seconds, even when I haven't done anything for her to. I've been shot twice, stabbed three times, I've had three of my bestfriends die. One of my favorite cousins abandoned me for five years and the next time I saw him he had a baby on the way, a five year old son he just found out about, and a five year old step daughter. My cousin that has always been there for me when others weren't has been acting so different these past two years. Every since he started dating one of my bestfriends he's not been his self. He's been treating me like a dog and the only time he truly has anything to do with me is when I'm talking to a guy and flirting. Then, he scares them off and then walks away and the guy won't get back near me. I miss my old cousin so much. Here lately everythings been going by so fast and everything and everyone is changing on me. People say with time everything gets better, but for me it seems to get worse and harder. Well, I need to go deal with someone right now, bye.
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1 comment(s) - 09:04 PM - 11/10/2006
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ab1's Profile

  • Username: ab1
  • Gender / Age: Female, 33
  • Location: USA - Mississippi
    •  
    AB1's Interests:

    About Me: I'm not really a complicated person. I just want to have fun and chill. My life gets messed up from time to time, but I just hold on because they always say it gets worse befor it gets better.

    Interests: I love to fish, hunt, do carpenter work, mud ride, race, hang out with friends, kick it with my cousins(all guys) and just chill and listen to music.

    Favorite Music: I love country,rap, and some punk.

    Favorite Movies: I pretty much like any scary or hilarious movie.

    Favorite Television: Music channels.

    Favorite Books: Horror books and romance novels.