Bitchin out @ the world!

Patience.. is it truly a virtue?

Is it?

Can it be.. i mean ive waited for 2 years for the last guy i really wanted to be mine..

he comes to a realization 2 years later...

its been 2 years since ive been with him....

for 2 years hes waited on me..

love is such a crazy word for something that causes so much pain..

so much anger.. and grief..

so much stress...

hate..

hates sounds more appropriate..

love is cruel and evil..

i refuse to waste more time....

i was totally happy with wasting my time with a man that would never commit to marriage.. because i didnt plan on getting married anytime soon..

and for the most part we were living happily together..

now im living a nightmare..

i get looked at like a vagrant..

he cooked me breakfast...

im not sure if that was just cause he was up cookin..

or because he wanted to...

my heart aches so bad i want to combust..

i think time away will do me good..

hes doing what he wants to do anyways..

he always has..

its me..

that has learned patience....

its me that has learned.. heartache..

i felt better just blatantly being betrayed because at least that guy flat out told me..

i think its the trait of a coward.. who cant discuss thier feelings and let other ppl know what was going on.

But its clear.. crystal..

as always i have a very clear path that im going to take..

i will not deviate..

i have gone too far off course already..

all because of a man.. who had a hole in his heart..

that i wanted to fill..

but hes left me heartless..

i woulda took just the hole..

but the absense completely.. has me thrown.

im off balance..

i have to find my balance again..

i need to put my feet back on solid ground...

time will tell..

who knows..