I cant help but wonder..
When will this end? How will it end.. and then theres that small minute chance that it will never end. I worked out today.. pushing my body to the brink of nature itself... wondering if pain and pleasure alwayswent hand in hand. like yin and yang.. if this like all things that brought pleasure... had to also come with pain. If i could endure anymore pain.. was the question. Cause Im just one muthafucka away from checking myself into the nut bin.. not that i need to be there....
but id rather deal with cute orderlys in scrubs... than deal with a bunch of stupid mother fuckin men who are too senseless and self centered to care about anyone else but them.Im not perfect.. far from it; but i do pretty well pretending to be perfect.
Ive gotten my temper together..i still have small moments of aggression. Meditation helps.. I dont have this jealousy thing going on.
He started looking at me.. differently lately.. that endless gaze that attempts to communicate on some level that I have feelings for you that just wont go past my lips... (for now). Or.. that gaze that says Im just looking for something in your eyes thatsays i canlet go.. let go of my emotions... open up my soul.
end story...
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