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26
Apr 2011
8:24 AM
   

It's not FAIR!!!

I think it's finally over. I feel horrible that there is a sense of relief. I should be feeling heartbreak not relief. The first D&C not going correctly has robbed me from having the feelings I should have had about the loss of this pregnancy. I swear after the second D&C that the chunks that were coming out was my baby. Everyone kept saying no, that it was just blood clots (mind you it wasn't even red) but then I got a call from my doc telling me that they tested what they sucked out at the D&C and it was fetal tissue. I knew it!!!! I wanted to keep it and bury it but I felt silly and stupid after everyone said it wasn't possible. Now I have lost that opportunity as well. So nothing to bury to give me closure and no feeling of mourning because the whole situation was so horrible and drawn out. It's just not fair.
1 comment(s) - 03:22 AM - 05/04/2011
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Current Tags: miscarriage, mourning, sadness

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Racquelc6's Profile

  • Username: Racquelc6
  • Gender / Age: Female, 44
  • Location: USA - New York
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    RACQUELC6's Interests:

    About Me: I am 32 years old. Wife of a loving husband who has overcome many personal obstacles and has grown into such a great person. Mother of a beautiful, loving, energetic and bright little boy, my prince and love of my life. Mourner of a second child that was not to be. Hopeful mother of a third child.

    Interests: Reading, Soduko, puzzles (any type), walks with my loved ones, trying out new things.

    Favorite Music: Salsa & bachata. I can listen to it all day long.

    Favorite Movies: Anything with Denzel Washington or Mel Gibson. I also like watching movies that have Vin Diesel or The Rock but only because they are in it, not because I actually love the movie.

    Favorite Television: Law & Order: SVU, NCIS, The Nanny, Ugly Betty, Friends, Criminal Minds

    Favorite Books: A Child Called It, Black Girl Lost