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Sunday - Feb. 4, 2007 - 0:35 AM - EDT - #1

Well the past months have been difficult.Iam so confused where my relationship stands with my boyfriend.We have been to gether for over a year now but it seems like we are growing apart.We use to have so much fun and wanted eachother around all the time now it seems like he doesnt even have fun if im there.Which I cany just say is just him.I almost feel like he has ruined who I use to be he has slowly taken all my friends,and I toled myself I would never be with someone like that.He has been in jail for a week now and I feel like I can see my old self again haveing fun hanging out with friends i havnt talked to because they couldnt stand him.Its been so much that i almost want to call it quits but at the same time i still love him.I guess the problem might be that i love him but im no longer in love with him.I just dont know what to do I feel like who i use to be is slipping away and i hate myself for letting it happen.Why do i do it to myself i was warned befor i got with him that it wasnt a good idea shit i left a very good guy to be with him which im starting to regret alot.I lost a best friend to be with this guy and a year later im just starting realize how horrible that was and how much i miss her and that if i had it to do over i would choose her.Does this make me a horrible person?I dont understand if he loves me why he trys so hard to aleinate all my friends so they wont come around when he knows how much they all mean to me.I just wish i knew what to do.This past week has shown if i leave him i could have my old life back,but i live with him and is he worth giving up.I just wish he could be cool to my friends and i could have them all i mean shouldnt that be how it is.