Things are getting a little clearer as I continue detoxing. It's been soooo hard and I want so badly for it to be over with. I hear that it gets easier after the first 36 hours, but I am not finding that to be the case. I can't sleep, can't get comfortable, and feel like my body is going to give out. All I can do is keep going. I am so very thankful that I have my husband to support me. I don't know what I would do without him. I try to look toward the future and imagine what a life without drugs will be like. I haven't known for a long time how to live sober. I can't even remember the last time I enjoyed anything without being high. Isn't that sad? I have so much to live for yet it all seems so far away. I don't know if I will be able to do this or not. Anyone have any suggestions for me? I would be grateful for any advice.
I am starting a new chapter in my life and I have a feeling that jounaling will help with the process. I am a drug addict, and have been for many many years. My drug use has caused me to lose everything once when I was sent to prison for five years. When I got out, I decided that I would never use again because I had been given a second chance. Well, that lasted about 3 days and I was sucked right back in to this terrible addiction. It starts out small and I think that I can handle it, then it rages out of control. I am married to a wonderful man who is so supportive of me, but he can only take so much. I have decided to go cold turkey in my house for a week. I need to detox, to get my system free of drugs before my mind gets a chance to free itself. I am hoping that this journaling will help me to get my thoughts down and out of me. We'll see, This is day one.
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