Ok so i've done some soul searching and what I have found is that it is just not me that i need to be happy with but everything in my life....yes i miss the people that have passed....yes i admit that i miss my ex....not much but the fun we used to have....but my new guy is better at making me laugh....that is good.....everything i've been through the last 2 years has rocked my world....i've changed people tell me not for the best but in fact for the worse....BUT i feel for the better...yes i'm a nice person BUT i still have the cappability to be a BITCH....yes it is true......But as easy as it is to fall into the BITCH act it's alot harder to like myself in that role...i'm a very pasiant person, loving person, caring person.....but I can still be a BITCH whenever the mood strikes....I just don't like to be :)
I have lost someone very close to me she was a student and a friend. I know that she is in a better place but it still hurts to think that she went before her time. I feel lost knowing that I can never talk to her again, Laugh with her when she comes up with a prank and talks me into helping her.....this next year will be the hardest one for me because she will be gone.�I live each day not knowing what to expect but then again I can't live like this forever....soon the pain will stop I just don't know when.
The days go by and I wonder if I will ever find the one that was meant for me. I know that there is someone out there for me but why is it taking me forever to find him? I feel that one day I will wake up to 40 candles on my birthday cake and surrounded by cats and overweight wondering where my life went. the Days go by and sometimes freak me out.
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