maskbeforeme's Journal

 
    
21
Aug 2007
7:04 PM EDT
   

well... it is late, tired, long day. I have a lot of experiences and emotions built up. while checking some things out I found this place. FINALLY, a place where I can say what I want and what I feel and no one really knows who I am!
I dont people I know about my personal life, even though I have already let a lot out there. my soon to be ex husband has had affairs and just talking about them with people you know makes it very uncomfortable!
after 7 years of marrige this happens, Im still pissed. I forgave but can not forget. the things I have went through the last year with him, my daughter and many guy and friend experiences are enough to knock anyone on their feet. but instead, I have to hold it together. be a single mom and work full time. show my daghter the amount of love I have for her, and want somewhat of a love life.
sometimes when I see me ex remember the love we shared and it feels like we are back in that moment. then I pass the place where he had an affair. or I see a baby boy that looks lke the age of his kid that he had in one of the affairs and all these hurt feeling resurface. on one hand he is an amazing, caring guy who was so in love with me and then there is the other hand... if he still loves me so much how can I even consider getting back with him? if he was SO in love with me and worshipped me like he did before and did what he did and I had no idea then how can I make a marriage work? UGH! aggravation!!! I feel like a failure some days. a faliure as a wife, a mom and a person. so much to say...
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maskbeforeme's Profile

  • Username: maskbeforeme
  • Gender / Age: Female, 43
  • Location: USA - Arkansas
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    MASKBEFOREME's Interests:

    About Me: A recent young, single mom of one. One day a wife of 8 years, part time stay at home mommy. Now just me and my daughter, working full time on our own. I volunteer a lot at her school and try to give her what I can on a low income while also trying to let her have experiences that most kids with stay at home, married moms have. Stress, kids, love life or lack of and all that goes along with life!