martytx07's Journal

Ok well let me see what to talk about today. Well one exciting thing to me that is...not sure what other people might think....I got a new laptop!!! Yay! I've been wanting one for a while so yeah, I'm super cite about getting it. I'm on it right now. It's so much conveient I think than having to stay in one spot with the desktop. My sister is paying half and I'm paying the other half with my income. She said that she was planning on getting me one for a late X-mas present, she already had got me a keyboard so I would have been content with just that. But anyways, yeah, I like it. My only problem so far would have to be that the computer is a Vista and my webcam doesn't work with it!!! What kind of crap is that? I think that sucks but oh well. I was even thinking about downgrading it but my sister is like no, just buy you a webcam...I don't know if I want to though. I mean, I don't think it's that bad but omg, the way it loads up is horrible. I takes a minute or two...I read somewhere that all Vista's are like that. For a second I was just thinking that it was my laptop being slow because it's an HP. I don't care for HP's....my sisters ex had one it and it was horrible...and then my aunt too...both were bad. So yeah, I thought about choosing another laptop than this one but then decdied against it. Oh well...I still like it and I'm so happy that I got it. I love typing on it, lol. So maybe y'all can expect to get more little entry's from me. Let me see what else to talk about...umm, oh, well today was my day off but I went into work to help that girl who I think doesn't work that great...like she's lazy. Anyways, I was sort of like, ugh, maybe I shouldn't go because I know how she is but decided to be nice and go in...that was a mistake. She didn't hardly do anything when I was there working with her...it was horrible.I hope I don't have to work with just her...it's sooooo annoying when she doesn't do much. It's like, ARE YOU SERIOUS??? And other people know it too how she is but I'm just trying to bite my tounge...for the time being. Anyways, yeah, I'm getting sleepy so I'm just gonna bring this to an end...later!!!1

Ok, so what to write about..I have no idea, lol. A lot has happened since my last journal entry of course and I always tell myself oh, I'll write one later but always put it aside. I like going back and reading what I wrote because I see how I develop...it's pretty neat. I wish I would've wrote since like 7th grade or something, that would be fun to go back and read crap from back then. Bet my grammar would be horrible though, lol. Using all the wrong words (there, their, they're...and can't forget too & to) Ok, well anyways, let me see. As you know, if you read my other journals, I did finally quit Kroger's and I have already started working at the plasma center. I like it a lot more than Kroger's and it's crazy because they tell me about all the people who have worked there for a couple of days and then they just up and quit, it's just crayziness! I like really like it, not having to deal with all the bs of Kroger's and plus just had an awesome ass day today! The computer systems went down and I ended up going home like 4 hours earlier than I was supposed to after doing practically nothing. It was great, plus I got paid for the 8 hours :D And my manager even bough pizza :D Yum! So anyways, that being said...there's like no hotties that work there so that sucks...not one other person I work with is hot...grrr. But some of the donors, mmmhmm, but even then you know they're probably jobless like most of the donors. And yes, I know there are some plasma donors who have a job but I'm sure most of them do not. I had a job and still donated so I'm not saying that all of them are jobless..just some. Anyways, yeah, one dude was Mexican and looked a little thugish, my type! And the other one was a light colored black dude, really, really, cute. Pretty eye brows, pretty smile, and nice cut hair...he was really cute, oh, and had really pretty brown eyes. And what was funny was that I saw him and was like, dang, he's really cute. Then one of the girls that I work with was just like "OMG, why did they put him in front of the window!" And I was like why, and she said that she had a crush on him...I was just like, damn bitch, me and you got the same taste :D Haha. I didn't say that of course because I'm not out but yeah, it was funny. Umm, let me see what else to talk about. Umm, yeah, I have no idea what to talk about. So yeah, this was probably the most boring entry I have ever written but oh well, at least I wrote it :D

Ok, well not really much to say. I ment to post a long time ago but I think I did something wrong that made it not post. Anyways, umm, let's see. Since the last post which was way too long ago, I don't even know what to write about. I guess I'll just talk about things from the past week. Umm, well nothing has really been happening. I'm thinking about applying at the plasma center and if I get that job I think I might leave Krogers. I really like the people there and what not but it's just not what I want to do right now. I don't want a job that's like so much physical work, I'm gay and I like light stuff, lol. I know not all gays are like that but shit, I am. I'm the typical gay dude who doesn't like to work hard phsycially but doesn't mind a challenge for the mind. That being said, I'm not 100% sure how hard it would be work at the plasma but the pay is like $2 more so that's a lot better already. Sucky thing though is that I can't donate at that center anymore if I do get hired. I'm just gonna apply later today and whatever happens happens. If I get the job then I'll probably be quiting Kroger's sometime after. I've been getting a lot more hours at Krogers too. I got 40 hours last week (first time ever getting 40 hours) and then I got 38 the week before so yeah, pretty nice checks. Well not that nice, only about $178 for the 38 hour week and I'm expecting like $180something for the one next week. And this week I'm only getting 24 hours...that's not much at all but oh well, I think it will give me a lot of time to relax and get the plasma application done with and give me time to talk to the dude who works at the plasma center. Yeah, and work was pretty nice working in the morning. I spent a lot of time with that Josue dude...the one who I think is like super hot. He's like, ugh, I like him a lot. I still think I like Tony more even though Tony isn't as hot as Josue but for some really odd reason I like those thugish guys...Josue for the most part isn't so thugish. I have no idea what I like those type of dudes, it's really weird. I guess opposites attract or something, I don't know. I couldn't be thugish to save my life, lol. But yeah, I really wish that Josue was a little gay or something, lol. At least bi! Well he has a little girl but he seems like he flirts or something but I'm probably just like making it out to be more than what it is. The other day, when I got there and I was working for a minute he saw me and was like, "What, I don't get a hug?" I just went up to him and like patted him on his back and like stood side by side next to him and he was like, "Man move, I don't want a hug." and he started laughing. And like yeah, he's just so freaking cute. I would give it up to him quick I'm sure which isn't a very good thing to do...damn, I'm a slut sometimes! ANYWAYS, here lately I've been like yearning for...well I don't know if it's only sex, but I just want to you know, lol. Dang, I hate sounding like a complete whore because I'm really not but the last time I've ever done anything with another guy was like four years ago......now that's a long ass time. I've thought about just going online and having someone come meet me real quick and just go somewhere to make out or something but no, I would be WAY too scared to do some shit like that and plus since I'm not out...that isn't going to work. Oh, and here's something interesting, see, this happened a long time ago but since it's been forever since I last wrote in this thing I just forgot. Anyways, when I was working one day some black dude like came up to me and like just started talking to me. I was like, umm, ok. I talked to him of course because he's a "customer" so of course I do small talk. And he's like talking a lot and some old man saves me by starting to talk to him and I make a get-away. I go and when I come back out he's not there thank god because yeah, 1) He wasn't cute!

*~*~*Interupted by sister*~*~*
*~*~*Continued*~*~*

2) He said he was like 25 but his hair was balding...yeah, not cute at all. 3) He was more femine than me...if I wanted a chick I think I would stick to girls and 4) He had a little bo which was not cool.....anyways, I go grab something to eat and when I'm headed back towards the back he stops me and starts talking and talking. I was just like, mmhmm. He talked about how he was stress because some other workers had said some homophobic slurs and yada yada. And then I was just thinking, oh, he probably knows. And he continues talking about how people ignore him and this and that and then says something about if any of that has happened to me and I tell him, what, ignore me. I don't think so. And anyways, he asked if I go to Dallas clubs or something and I bring up Oakland, never been there but Iknew that's what he was talking aboutbecause my cousin goes over there and he just smiles and is like, so you do go over there and I just tell him no and say I heard about it. Anyways, yeah, he then is like, so what do you do for fun, yada yada, and I'm just like, umm, spend time alone...I'm content by myself (even though not compelty true I just wanted to get away from him!) And he's like, well do you like cofee and I'm just like, umm, no! Anyways...ok, well earlier, I had to stop writing and it's like five hours later and after aplying and what not I recieved a phone call from the manager at the plasma center calling to see if I could come in for an interview on Wednesday at 11AM. How neat is that??? I applied and like 4 hours later I get a call...AWESOME!!! Anyways, that's all I'm gonna write right now...and yes, this is a lot but I had a lot to say. From now on I'm gonna write everything in a notepad and then copy/paste online...at least I don't get a warning to hurry up and post or my work will be lost!!!

-M.

Alright, soooo anyways, if y'all read any of my other journals y'all would know that I auditioned for American Idol at the Texas Stadium in Irving Tx...BKA Dallas since it's in the Dallas county. So anyways, yeah, I made it pass the 1st audition where only 400 of the 12,000 people that were there made it through. I was so excited! Ok, so anyways, I'm thinking, yay, I get to audition right away for the 3 judges...WRONG!!! After that there's two more auditions! I know, crazyiness. So anyways, I went to the hotel and I just waited and chatted with other people for about 5 hours. Finally it's our turn to audition and I'm super nervous of course. This one chick was freaking AMAZING! I'm talking about I was like, ok, this B is gonna be on TV for sure, didn't make it pass the 1st audition and I'm like, OMG! This one black girl who I was talking to in the room because she sat right next to me was like in shock along with me and a few of the other people who were sitting there and then she was like super nervous now. I was getting really nervous too. So anyways, the girl who went before me didn't make it and I went in the room and my hands were sweaty and yea, it was just crazy. So anyways, I sang, And I Am Telling You and of course I sing bad and I sing loud :D Just like I love to do and the producer is like, "Yes" and is nodding her head. I was like, oh, ok! LOL. I was super excited. Then I got the big sticker that has the American Idol thing on it and then I went to go wait. Lunch interuppted and we went out to McDonalds and got lost finding the hotel again but eventually we found it a couple of minutes late and it was all good in the end. So anyways, I go sit down and we're waiting and I ask this girl is Simon, Randy & Paula in there and she tells me no, and I'm thinking, UGH! So anyways, when I finally go in there, it's that dude Nigle from So You Think You Can Dance and a lot of other producers. There were probably about 10-15 people in there. So anyways, they ask what song and I decide to do the same song and he's like, "And you know it's a girl song and you're alright with it." I'm like yeah and he goes on to say something about if the American Idol should sing a girl song and I'm like, "I guess" So anyways, he tells me to go ahead and I start to sing and his face is priceless, haha. He looks at me like WTF? And then he's like, well you know you're bad and somethign about that I was fake and whatever. I was like, no, I'm not acting or w/e and then they had me sing "Since You Been Gone" which was my audition song anyways, so anyways, I sing it and then he's like well, "Thank You" and I don't get the golden ticket to go on to see the 3 judges. So yeah, it was pretty sad. My cousin cursed out the cameras and he was just shouting crap like, "My cousin has fucking talent, American Idol is racist. They let all these other bitches in who have no fucking talent! This is bullshit. My cousin can sing! Sing for them Marty!" I was just like, umm, naw, I'm cool. Anyways, yeah, it was a crazy experience. When I thought about it I wasted like 20+ hours of my life but then it's like, it's an experience that I would most likely never get to experience again and I'm happy that I made it as far as I got because a lot of people didn't make it pass the 1st audition, some didn't make it pass the 2nd audition and not many at all made it pass the 3rd audition. So anyways, yeah. Oh, and I got Kelly Clarkson tickets!!! I'm so excited. Never been to a concert before and now I'm just happy that I'm going to let to see her. That's my girl right there :D Well, that's about it for now. Nothing more intresting happening in my life right now so yeah, lataz!!!

-M.D

Alright, where to begin...ok, well this weekend has been crazy! Ok, so auditions in "Dallas", really Irving, were held today and we went at 4 in the morning. My step-cousin ended up not coming, that bitch! Anyways, this isn't about her of course, it's about moi! There were so many people there that could sing. It was really, really amazing how great some of these people were and for some of these great singers to not make it was just sad. I know 100% that I'm not a good singer. If I could get one wish I think that would be to become just an okay singer. I wouln't care if I couldn't pursure a career, I just would like to be able to sing. There's always YouTube, haha. So anyways, it took forever and a day to finally get my audition and what do you know, I made it :) Out of the four that were with me, one being my cousin, I was the only one who made it. I can't wait to meet the judges in September. I know, I had no idea how difficult it was to go through the process. Anyways, we were at the stadium for like ten hours. It was freaking crazy and living in Texas...it was fucking hot! Hot like a fucking bitch. Sorry for all the cursing but words cannot express how hot and uncomfortable it was in the stadium. From what my family told me after watching the news, only 400 out of the 15,000 that auditioned are going to be able to perform for Randy, Simon, and Paula. OMG, Simon is going to make me freaking cry :( I know I'm not gonna get pass that round but I don't give a crap. I'm gonna get what I wanted. So anyways, that's all I have to say right now. Oh, and if you ever try to audition for idol, take my advice. Sing bad! If you sing bad you have more a chance of makingit to the next round. There weren't many bad singers. Out of all those people, probably like, I don't know, a few were bad and these (myself included) are the ones that they want for TV. Sing bad for the producters and then get pass them and then sing well for the judges. Easy as that. So anyways, I'm gonna go and yeah, I will talk to you all later.