days in the life of a confused teen

May 2008
3:26 PM EDT

hey its lily! most of you probably dont know me so ill start by talking about myself.....i live on the east coast, have lots of brothers and sisters, am a teenager, and this i loooooooove grilled cheese. ya, that was random...but whatever...so a couple weeks ago i got out of the hospital, not for a physical problem, a mental one...ya i went through a rough battle with anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts. but it wasnt my first go at it, i was in the hospital about a month earlier for the same reason. i was then diagnosed with PMDD(Pre Menstrual Dysphoria Dysfunction), it's kind of like PMS but with more serious symptoms, like horrible symptoms! but now they put me on the pill which is supposed to control my hormones a little bit...so we'll see what'll happen. anyways...there's this guy, reid...yeh he's one of my brothers friends, or used to be at least. he has been to my house two or three times and i never really thought much of him...up until now that is. somehow he got my cell phone number and has begun texting me almost obsessivly...no joke! well...first i guess i should tell you a little more about reid, physically...hes pretty tall, 15, blonde hair, really muscular, i forget what color eyes, and not so good teeth. so, i guess he sounds kinda cute, but now lets talk about his emotional problems. he is a really depressed person who has tried to kill himself at least three times(OD'd) but never really succeeded. he gets very attached to his girlfriends...one of his exes is in my class and she was head over heels for him...but he has a really low self esteem and image, but he also brags alot...so it's kinda weird but w/e. anyways...he has confessed his love for me and repeatedly refers to me as hun, babe, babygirl, and beautiful babygirl. i guess you could call it flattering, but honestly it makes me feel like im his granddaughter or something, ya its creepy! so he just keeps on talking to me about how much he wishes he could be with me, and how he wants to bite me on the neck and suffocate me with kisses. you know what i mean, like he's always saying how all he wants is for me to be in his arms. and when i told him i fell down the stairs today at school and hurt my knee(ouch!) he was all like omg i wish i could have been there to catch you, and thats not even the half of it! he says im the only person that makes him somewhat happy and he wont be happy until im in his arms...and that im the only girl he trusts, and i deserve any guy i want and so on...im not mean to him, but i can be cold...i dont want him to think i really like him like that, i dont want to hurt him though...so i just kind of talk to him nonchalontly(no idea how to spell that) but then he tells me that his mom is making him move to new jersey in four months...i was like aww well maybe it will be good...and hes like no im staying, for you, no matter what. i told him he didnt have to do that for me and that once he got there he would forget about our boring little town and all the people in it, including me. he said he would never forget me no matter what. i asked him how he was going to get out of it, and he just insists that he will find a way...i dont see how, but whatever...yeh so then there's this guy we have living with us, he is a foreign exchange student from china...yah well we have a little bit or a romance, to say the least. i mean we make out and hang out and he has touched my boobs! ew i know right! that is a whole other story...well there's only one problem, its illegal for us to date or anything like that, hes an adult legally, and im not...well its kinda too late now. i dont even know what to do, and he wants me to help him decide whether or not to go to oklahoma for the summer for ESL but im like uhm dont ask me...i tried to explain to him that i dot want him to go buti dont want to keep him from something he really wants to do and might regret not doing later, so he flipped a coin and hes going. yah i mean im not happy about it but w/e, i guess if he really didnt want to go, then he wouldnt. so yeh my hands are getting realllllly tired.....

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1 comment(s) - 02:01 PM - 05/28/2008

ladybug8000l's Profile

Username: ladybug8000l

Gender / Age: Female, 32

Location: USA - Virginia

LADYBUG8000L's Interests:

About Me: i live in a small town off the east coast im a teen brown hair green eyes lots of brothers and sisters love techonology

Interests: new electronics(itouch, macbook, chocolate...) talking running football(better believe it!) volleyball doodling shoes shopping laying on the beach reading writing typing

Favorite Music: jason mraz third eye blind some pop and hip hop mariah carey chris brown a lot of alternative

Favorite Movies: 16 blocks showtime stepford wives the holiday school of rock

Favorite Television: greys anatomy desperate houswives gossip girl the hills house seinfeld friends what i like about you

Favorite Books: summer sister all john grisham books larlene mcdaniel books johnathan and fay kellerman books