justjeff's Journal

Apr 2007
11:32 PM EDT

I'm at work. 3rd shift. An uneventful evening, therefore, I have a little time to do a little journaling. I need to do better at keeping my journal up to date. I have found that journaling to be quite therapeutic if I keep up with it regularly. Sunday was uneventful, with the exception of having a breakfast date after getting off work this AM. He's a nice guy, named Keith. A professional guy, fairly attractive, but I just don't feel any "special" spark with him at all. Over time, I have realized that I have a pretty good "sense" about a person on a first meeting. Especially, whether we will "click" or not. In this particular situation, I felt he was a nice person, but no chemistry between us. After the date, I went home, took a nap until 4:30 when Elliot woke me and wanted to go out to eat. I got up...took him to his favorite local Mexican Restaurant...La Hacienda. Afterwards, I came back home and slept until time to go back to work. See! An uneventful day ! I'm still having trouble with the idea of Elliot moving to New York at the end of the summer. If I think about it much at all, I'm brought to tears. I just love that boy. He's like my own son. I'm not sure "son" is totally the right word, but definitely a combination of "son", "little brother", "child", and "best friend". It all depends on the scenario and situation. However, he's one of the most important people in my life. Elliot was so influential in my abiltiy to be strong enough to "come out" and be true to myself, family, and friends. He was there for me, when most of my closest friends didn't know what to think of me after announcing I was gay. As a roommate, Elliot is family. We care about one another and not just coexist in the same space. We spend time together. We enjoy one another's company. We like similar TV/movies. We enjoy playing cards together, bowling, playing pool together. We have spent time hiking and camping on the Appalachian Trail and on Stone Mountain in Elkin, NC. The thought of us not living together and having daily contact is almost more than I can bear. Not seeing him daily and knowing he's safe, is almost more than I can bear. I'm so blasted protective of him. I guess being he's so young (24) and looks so much younger. He just has an innocence about him. I know a very special season of our life is drawing to a close. He's about to "spread his wings" and take a "test flight". I'm so proud of him. I'm just going to miss him more than I can ever imagine. O GOD HELP ME !!!

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justjeff's Profile

Username: justjeff

Gender / Age: Male, 59

Location: USA - North Carolina

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JUSTJEFF's Interests:

About Me: I love my kids....I completely live for them.

Interests: love reading, watching tv, movies....love the theatre....swimming...hiking/camping

Favorite Music: Top 40....Country....bluegrass.....classical

Favorite Movies: My Life as a House, Out of Africa, Pride and Prejudice

Favorite Television: The L Word, Brothers and Sisters, Shark, Six Feet Under

Favorite Books: The Fountain Head, Out of Africa