brikingbird's Journal

Ididn't even get a one last kiss from you.
Baby God took your love from me

he needed an angel so it seems.
I need to feel you hands all over me

need to feel you kissing me
I need to feel you holding me

I need to feel your touch.

andi miss your love so much.
And i can't keep on living this way

I need you here with me.
Why did he took you away from me.
It's hard for me to tell you i love you

as I'm standing over your grave.
And i know I'll never hear your voice again.

Why did you leave me?
Why couldn't you just stay

Because my world is nothing without you.
Now I don't know what to do with myself.
I would have given you anything just to make you happy.
Just to hear you say that you love me one last time.
I'd go to hell and back over and over again..
Just to prove to you how much I need you here
There is nothing that I wouldn't do.
I'd cry for you, I'd lie for you.

And there's no doubt that if i could take your place in heaven.

I would die for you.
I would rather give up my life then to see tears in your eyes.
I can't stand to see you cry.
Cause it's hard for me to tell you i love you

as I'm standing over your grave,
And i know I'll never hear you voice again. Why did you leave me?
Why couldn't you just stay..

Because my world is nothing without you.

♥

the song is "missing you" by first lady i didnt write this!! Just letting you know..Well this song reminds of me so Much of my boyfriend Kendall He's in prison now for i dont know how long and i Miss him so much. first love you know. pretty much first EVERYTHING we would probably be still together if he wasnt there. He wasnt just my boyfriend he was my best friend i could tell him anything and ask him for advice. i could always count on him to make me smile and bring me up. i Miss him so Much words Cant describe. thats why i like this song. you Can feel the pain you know?

well i gotta let him go one of these days because hes not coming back for a long time and i gotta get used to the fact that i cant talk to him or hes not there anymore..Well i could talk more about him A LOT more but i have5 minutes to write lol So yeah tomorrow i'll have more drama to write most likely :P

the Next & last person was My grandpa Murphy. when im feel like i have nobody left to turn to or anyone who will listen. even when im Scared. i talk to My grandpa. Hes the first one i turn to before anybody else. He's the one who has taught me the most. Even though he passed away a month after i was born. everytime i do something i know he is watching..not just him but everyone in my family who has passed away and the creator.Well i think of what he would say if he was alive. i try not to make him any less of proud of me but i have done a lot of stupid things. Like drinking and being dumb as hell. what would he say? what would he say if he was here when i yell at my Mom or be disrespectful to my elders? what am i gonna tell him when i leave this world and he asks me about it or the creator does..or ask "why did you drink" what am i gonna say? what about half the other stuff that i have done? what am i gonna Say? i dont think its worth it anymore doing all that...

(Lucky..3 in 1 Day..things i Need to Get out.!)

Well i found out that im Pregnant. i'm a couple months maybe? im 17 years old, i have no job and the dad is no where in Sight. Well, the whole story...the Dad is My physco Ex..im not gonna Say his Name. but yeah i would rather be alone than to be with them..cuz your not a man if you hit a woman!

well im involved with this guy whos gettin married yeah! i've been with him on and off about four years now. one of those first love kind of things. Yeah hes getting married but he was still with me. Like he told everyone that he was with me..(His wifey is in Cali) i still feel dumb though because hes getting married still! he tells me he loves me all the time. but he tells about 4 other girls that too. hes always been like that. thats why our relationship is off and on. i'd wise up then get dumb again and get back with him knowing what he would end up doing to me again. idk why i did/do it still..i was talking to him today and he told him alot of good things that i wanted to hear. i wonder if he actually means them or if hes just saying that because he know he has to? i never take him seriously althoughi really want to ! i know hes not telling the truth or is he? i never know. he comes to my school and sees me. Calls me all the time. he wants to come over and stuff. and i go stay with him for a couple days. i wish i knew what was really goin on in his head! idk i told him i was pregnant and he started to cry. So what does that tell me? he cant get some anymore or does he really feel sad? he says hes really sad because we always talked about having a baby and now im having one but its not his! idk he said i mean the world to him and he know my ex wont man up and take care of me and tha baby..even tho i dont want him too lol..but he said he would be there for me like he always has been. and hes gonna treat him/her like his own..am i gettin fooled? or he is for real..guys are so confusing..