andheartsme's Journal

 
    
23
Jun 2007
9:10 AM HAST
   

stupid party. shoyld have been hotdogs and not burgers. wah wah wha.
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22
Jun 2007
12:59 PM HAST
   

my thing isnt working and im upset. everything is pissing me off. i bet u it was that itch nicole. she did some shit.
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20
Jun 2007
9:37 AM HAST
   

havent written in a long time. today was my 3 day at summer school. i didnt make very many friens but its a start. its not a social contest, im trying to pass 8th grade awih all of mighty gods help. i pray evrynight things will be ok there. after summerschool i go to weasly summer fun. i have a crush on this guy name ben but i dont think he likes me very much. i like him. hes a nice guy and hes unlike any guy i know. hes smart,funni and hes jus so cool to me. i think he notices me from time to time, cuz he walks past me alot. well i can only hope.
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12
Jun 2007
9:05 AM HAST
   

........... picture anyone?
1 comment(s) - 02:59 PM - 06/13/2007
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12
Jun 2007
9:03 AM HAST
   

havent writtn in a while have i?
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10
Jun 2007
6:34 AM HAST
   

today i had church. made fun of krystal. cleaned my dresser. and aunty gumby and anynty joan and wes are coming over. yea. i guess you can say i had a pretty sweet day. but nothing out of the ordinary. boo hoo. i know. shocking aint it hunny?my new hottie of the minute: j.
1 comment(s) - 09:14 AM - 06/11/2007
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08
Jun 2007
7:44 AM HAST
   

today was another blast. i cant belive im outta school. i saw dakota. man. i really do miss my friends. he was with his. i dont think he saw me but whatevrs. he was with 2 other guys. i recoginzed the back of his spiky head. no one could immitate that hair. either way it was kind of cool cuz i saw him. we went to the movies to see surfs up but in the middle the projecter got all screwed up and everything. oh well. we got a refund. thats good.we ate at zippys for lunch and our new stove came! its actually pretty nice.
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07
Jun 2007
7:57 AM HAST
   

im so sad that today was our graduation. but i know that ill see them again. someday and someway i will. i cant belive its summer already. i rember the beginning of last year. man i wish it was the begginning again. or boarding school. thad be awesome!
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06
Jun 2007
10:12 AM HAST
   

wow. i actually gave them their sorry notes and they didnt hate me. it actually made things a whole lot better! i was so amazed that tiare wrote me one back,hugged me and then said she was soory. i guess thw world really does go round. =]. tommorrow is the last day.boo =[. im going to miss and all my wittle friends. especially tiare and healani now that they are going to kalani. itll never be the same.
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05
Jun 2007
9:51 AM HAST
   

ok. i renewed myself. partly. i wrote sorri notes to people that i was bitchy to when i was going through all of this. i hope they forgive me for doing this .
1 comment(s) - 09:41 AM - 06/06/2007
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05
Jun 2007
7:50 AM HAST
   

im about to take a shower so get prepared to wait a while and then im going to eat dinner. i hope iit trains away my sorrow. i need to get over this. itll get better right? i mena why wouldnt it? it could. anything is possible.
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05
Jun 2007
7:45 AM HAST
   

i didnt have such a good day to day. actually, it was awful. i dont know what i was thinking. trying to keep tiare away from rina. i was so lonely. i need better friends. the pits. i mean come on. rina doesnt even know tiare as well as me. and know tiare and i arent speaking to each other. just quick glances and when i was crying and i said i was fine, she flippin belived me. what kind of freind is she? you know, maybe i need to give everyone a chance tommorrow. its the last day of school for classes. how bad could it be? maybe ill find out things that i wanted to find out how long ago and that will be that. or maybe it wont. all i know now is, it cant go wrong if i just try. maybe itll turn out better then i expected. it cant hrt to try. especially since im having such greif in school. i really need to fix my problems.
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04
Jun 2007
4:14 PM EDT
   

kill me. kill me now. i have nothing. go and celebrate on. have your little joy festival.see if i care.
2 comment(s) - 02:11 PM - 06/05/2007
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04
Jun 2007
4:08 PM EDT
   

i hate everything. im through with it all. i dont care anymore. there is nothing left in my life left pursuing. you know how people always say your suppose to chase after your dreams? its bullshit. there is no dream worth following. ive had it up to here. i never gave up fully until now. its all gone. everything in my life is now going down the tubes. i want another shot at life but i cant do it. not by myself and no one is going to help me. i dont have any true friends anymore. tiare ditched me for rina. healani for makana. hayley for monica.nicole for lina. katie for malia.and now my sister for micheal. he positively hates me. and i didnt even do anythign to him. he is just so selfish to even think about my feelings. they dont care. they are lost in their own little dream world. i hate it. they know of nothing. and they can all just go and crack themselfes over a mountain because i certainly dont need them anymore. i dont need anyone. and no one needs me. i deserve to be the loser. you know how hard it is when your sister knows everything,has a bf,is lighter than you,has all the crushes,clearer complexion and more popularity? no you dont. no one does and no one will ever understand my situation. they all think its jus fun and games to be a twin but its a pain in the ass. i hear compliments and insults that shes the better twin, she is the not evil twin. shes the skinnier twin and shes the god damn prettier twin well i dont care anymore because if everyone just thinks that then i will go and chuck myslef off a mountainh or a bridge. maybe thats what i should do. i keep asking myslef if i have anything laft to lose? and the answer is no. i lost ecverything before i ever had it. adn dont five me bullshit about god. he will never want me in his heaven anyway. he doesnt want me there and he knows it.
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04
Jun 2007
3:41 PM EDT
   

i am really scred. i hve no idea wht is going to come of my life. and what shall i say when my parents figure out that i have failed in math and social studies? they will say nothing comeing to the conclusion tht im an emo nut. but im not emo. i never wera black and i like my life. i just want to know were its heading beuase i really need to chnge my life around. what else is going to become of my poor sad and depressed life right now.you know what i need to do. i need to just sit down and work on my june list. its this thing that i haveon goals of things to do during the month im in. lik pehaps doing a reading list andi do 13 for the 13 years i have had life in me. when i turn 14, i will do 14[which i will figure out when im 14] and hopefully i stick to it. and hopefully this to because its fun to vent wht im thinking to something that wont be read,cared or nowed. id be embarressed if someone i know was reaing this. everyone[almost] would be.
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04
Jun 2007
2:22 PM EDT
   

today is monday. its a little sad because its the last monday of middle school, unless i dont pass. im a little scared to start highschool but im sure itll all work out in the end. it always does. Except my twin brat sister is working my neves and its so irratating. she did something unimginable to me. i cant even put it in to words. you think that having a sister would help you to do all kind of things. but no. you dont even want a sibling their like life ruiners. so is my family. i know in my heart that none of them really like me.they us pretend that i exist in their lifes till i turn 18 an g kicked out. till then they are stuck with threatning me and thinking of ays to get me kicked out of the house. well none f this really started util my stepdad came into my life. my life was perfect until then. my mom actually cared if i cut myself. now its all a big ft lie that she is feeding me. she doesnt like me. and she should own up to what she really belives. veryne tells me that. adults lways get caugth in their lies but they think we are to dumb to know it. the only think they know is that they dont know anything at all. grownups have made more mistakes then kids and they blame it on us. then we gt punished for it. im sick of all the worldy drama and all he news. what hs gone with al the peace,no war and love cristmas wishes. this is a truely devastating crimely world. i think someone needs to own up and tke responsibility for what they have created in the attempt of something diffrent.
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andheartsme's Profile

  • Username: andheartsme
  • Gender / Age: Female, 29
  • Location: USA - Hawaii
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    ANDHEARTSME's Interests:

    About Me: i love my friends and how im learning to get over the stupid little details that are making my life so misrable.

    Interests: my friends tiare,nicole,kstal,hayley,taryn,katie,tanner,jesse and this hottie austin. he has the nicest smile and he is one of the most popular kids in the school.

    Favorite Music: bob marley babey, fergie,rob and big, boys like girls and others

    Favorite Movies: curious george the movie

    Favorite Television: elmos world

    Favorite Books: sweet 16,what if...all the boys wanted yo, girls in love and the current novel im reading, annie freemans fabulous traveling funeral

    ANDHEARTSME's Friends:
    ColdHeart3