Just another sad story...

Her heart beats faintly,

The whispers call to her softly...

Left alone in the rain,

Cant help but scream in vain...

No longer able to breath the air,

As she dies in despair....

Ok So I've been reading a book called "The Day I Killed James" By: Catherine Ryan Hyde. Theres a passage in it that I love, this is how it goes....

People die of love. I'm one of the few who'll admit it. That doesn't mean it isn't true.

Take all the peole who died yesterday, or last week, or last year. Subtract all the suicides and the so-called accidents of the brokenhearted. Take away the men who got blown away for being in the wrong bed at the wrong moment, the women in abusive marriages who died of cancer because they couldn't find any other exit from their lives. All the AIDS deaths except from the needles and the transfusions, the ones the call the innocent victims. Like if you have sex, you're guilty. Deserved just what you got. Now tell me who all you've got left.

Different passage, same book

Today a guy tried to pick me up at the bookstore. Are you ready for that? I�was actually saying that out loud in fact, later, on the way home: "Are you ready for that?" I shave my head, I've lost twenty pounds. I wear truckloads of loose clothing. I mean, what do I have to do?

"Buy you a cappuccino?" he asked when he'd caught my attention. I looked at him like a kestrel might. We're small, kestrels and me, but we can be formidable. "Do you love life?" I�asked. He smiled. Looked confused for a moment.�I suppose he thought It was part of a dating questionnaire. Like, Do you enjoy sharing hot chocolate and long walks on the beach at sunset?

"I do" he said. "I love life."

"Then run." He didn't, exactly. But he did go away.

Me again, lol

Dont those passages make you think long and hard about life? love? where yuor at in life? That one person whose hurt you repeatedly, but you'll still take back at the first chance you got?

Thats how I feel....

Sportygirl15

Its as if no one cares,

Maybe its because life isn't fare...

Left alnoe to walk this earth,

Wondering what she's really worth...

To think she once new love,

But it died like that lonely white dove...

Her heart bleed crimson red,

With every waking moment she's come to dread...

No longer able to hold back�the fear,

Her feelings so unclear...

With everyday she cries,

As she looses her carefully knit diguise...

If only I could remeber,

Then maye I would'nt feel so much anger...

Sportygirl15

The wind whisles through her hair,

Releasing the pain she can no longer bare...

Slowly dying like that old red rose,

As she walks towards the gallows....

-Sportygirl15

I�cant help but drown,

My last breath came at sundown...

No longer immune,

My soul now walks under the moon...

Slowly becoming a shadow,

I now wait for the final deathblow....

I hear you whispers in the night,

Telling me to get out of you sight...

Never knew you could cause so much pain,

My pillow now tear stained...

You left me on that old back road,

While I watched my heart explode....

Never new I could feel this empty,

Knowing my heart know beats falsely....

The rain falls down,

On this old ghost town...

I hear your whispers in the dark,

As they slowly break my heart...

Who ever new you could be so cruel?,

You left me like that forgotten jewel....

Slowly and painfully betrayed,

So now I hide in this masquerade....

With everyday that passes her by,

She lets out an exausted sigh...

Only to think she once new love,

But it died like that lonely white dove...

A piece of her has died,

The gap inside her heart so wide...

If only she had known,

Maybe then she would'nt be all alnoe...

At night she cries away her pride,

Patiently waiting for the pain to subside...

No longer abel to bare the pain,

She cant help but scream in vain...

He disapeard in a blink of in eye,

Without so much as a goodbye...

He said I�love you,

Then walked away and said were through....

-Sportygirl15

OMG! the dance last night was amazing! It was better than home coming! Plus my dress looked hot on me... well I thought so, lmfao'fr ..... So I saw Matt there once, he looked ok I guess Im starting to get over him for reall this time... I think! YEAHH!�

So my friend tessa and I were grinding with each other, And no if you were wondering were soo not lesbians... Anyways this so totally hot upperclassman comes up behind Tessa and starts grinding on her. So that goes on for a minute or so. And then the guys friend comes up and is all like "can I cut in?" So I�go and grind with him! Soo much fun!! I hope Matt saw me with that guy! he was pretty good looking and you could so tell he worked out! Too bad I dont no who he is �OH well.....

I�got so mad at Lexi, So as some of my friends no we "Kissed and made up"� So when I�got done dancing with the guy shes all like "You are such a slut!"� Well excuse me Lex , but I'm a slut because I�was haveing a little bit of fun? God!!! lossen up some! Well its late now and I got to catch some zzz's.

This coming week is going to be the worst!!! Why?�cause of the F-ing Exams! I have to learn over a hundered diff. vocab words by wednsday and thursday!!! UGHHH!!! well widh me luck tootles

-Sportygirl15

The time has come to end this dance,

I'm slowly breaking free from your hypnotic trance...

The curtains�have closed,

Your memories desposed...

The ocean waves�carry me away,

Far away from your sweet bay...

Your hold on me�has thinned,

Now its time for a new start to begin...

The oceans waters caress me,

Slowly moving me to recovery...

He left me standing there,

As if he didn't care...

And now I cant help but wonder why,

How I ever bought those lies...

I was lead astray,

Slowly, and un-knowingly betrayed...

But now the Sun shines bright,

Helping me to take flight...

The waters have set me free,

So now I take my journey to recovery...

I�used to be invincible,

Just like I�used to be sain..

But now my armor is cracked,

My heart no longer intact...

With every tear that slides down my cheek,

Its accompanied with a silent shriek...

Memories of you haunt me everyday,

I'll forget you someday...

But everyday that passes by,

I cant help but wonder why...

Theres no way out,

So now I wait for the finall knockout...

-Sportygirl15

You left with out a goodbye

And now I cant help but wonder why...

My heart is lost in a puddle of tears

So now I�have no choice but to face my fears...

With everday that passes bye

I wonder how I bought those lies...

How could you ever do this to me?

I�never thought you would be the enemy...

If�only I�had known what was to come

Then maybe I�would'nt be so numb...

Soon I�will let you go

I�probably should have a while ago...

Unlike those childhood�fairytales

This one ends in betrayal...

-Sportygirl15

Im like the titanic, slowly sinking into the cold dark water.

Submerged into the inky black cloke with no where to go.

The only difference is that Im drowning in the memories.

I run so that no one can feel the pain inside of me.

But no matter how fast I run, the memories catch up.

Keeping me as their prisoner and slowly drowning me inside of them.

Its like a�prison inside my head.

The only thing that keeps me from giving up is knowing one day I'll foreget.

-Sportygirl15

I've slipped, and now Im fallin down a dark tunnel, the sight of light slowly dissapearing. Im drowning in the memories. They haunt me, in my sleep, and in my every other thought through out the day.

A day doesn't go by without thinking about him... But how could you not think about someone when you see them everyday, not because you want to, or because you have to. But because their just there.

Until this year, when I could no longer pretend he never existed. I had locked my heart away and carefully stitched myself back together. And now that he's back, everything I came near to forgetting is flooding back. All those summer days at the pool, and in the woods...

Im loosing it peace by peace, I keep telling myself Im going to forget. I know some of my friends wonder why I do some of the things I do... I do them so that I can distract myself. Its like morphine, but the pain is so great that it only numbs. Because pain can only gone for so long..... expecially when theres soo much of it..

- Sportygirl15

I may just go mad. You wait and see, I'll be another Brittney spears minus the kids. lol. He did it again, he gave me that smile, the one that stops me from breathing, and makes me forget what I had been worrying about.

How do you forget someone that has been apart of your life for about 6yrs?

How do you forget someone when memories of them haunt you in your sleep?

How do you forget someone when you have to see them everyday?

Im going to forget! Im ready... but I just dont know how

Ok I admit it Im as very mean/bad person... So the guy Matt (who I am over just for the record!) Well I kinda had my friend Katy bring up the time when I got him to dress up as Minnie Mouse and put on miss matching high heals, walk up the stairs and dance in front of his parents. Anyways when she reminded him of this I wish I had been there! The look on his face must have been Priceless!!��I know its not the nicest thing to do but he deserved it, well maybe not but I think he did because he has been a total a** lately��well I will wtyl bye!

Right now I am chillin with my best friend Justice right now.. yeahhhh� well I will wtyl

OK so today i was told by my trusty friend Tessa that my once bff was pissed off at me. This is why. Yesterday I accidentaly got lotion on her nose, I appologized and Lexi accepted it. Well today yesterdays event is this big issue and now she wont talk to me!?!?!?!

I mean come on its pretty dumb, lotion? shes mad at me over lotion on her face!?!? Shes attempting to turn everyone against me over it to, so far it hasn't gone over well for her because I have so many friends that will back me up. Plus she's trying to give me the "Silent Treatment" Oh well that doenst bother me cause�I like playing the silent game, hehehe. jk jk.

I guess it was some big secret or something cause apparently Lexi did'nt want anyone to tell me she was pissed at me cause when she did find out that I knew, well you might as well run and hide, lol. Just kidding she could'nt even harm a bug! Anyways she went off on a different friend of mine Katy and was all like "You told her did'nt you!!!" Well lucky Katy I told her what was going on between Lexi and I and she was all like "Im sorry but I dont know what yur talking about" and walked away. Katy described this event as terrifying cause Lexi was all up in Katy's face accusing her of something she of course did not do. Only Justice, Katy, Tessa and I know who spilled the "beans" lol jk. I pray Lexi will get over her issues with me and confront me to my face about this unfortunate event. In the mean time I guess I'll hang out with my true friends, tha actually care about me and are not afraid to tell me something is wrong.

Sportygirl15