Okay, first of all, MSN fantastic instant messnger. great to socialize. but look wow bang viola, one conversation personal to a person i dont like, she saves this, and then bang boom, she tells my best freinds and turns them against me, now i dont know about you, but this has never happened to me befor. wanting to die, a tiny urge, i dont wnat to but i hav a small urge. i dont enjoy argument with liers who havent got nerve to tell police... I CANT GET ARRESTED FOR SWEARING. I CANT GET ARRESTED FOR TELLING MY POINT OF VEIW, this makes me so angry and upset and confused, im no way happy watsoever, i havent told my mom. she will go crazy, call one of my m8s turned against me mothers and the i will have only a few m8s at school. my best m8 emily, will ffollow along and pow she hates me, i wont go to school if that happenes i will refuse, my best freind of all time carls she sed "we dont need them, i can survive without any m8s let alone them" i thought to myself, she has a point, if this continues to all my freinds then i will only have one or two, i will be a loner, a non poular person, everyone turned against me but one conversation uncluding swearing, this is confusing, do you guys have any idea whta to do? please tell me on comments below  i have sort of sorted it out but yet still probs

Bored Bored Bored. sometimes i need something to do, but ive done everything cleaned tidied played on games,blah, blah ,blah blah blaahh. Evil Is streaming through the widows in my house,everyone seems to be grumpy. its december tommorow people should be happy not sad, or angry, but it seems that way. it is that way i dont want it to be, we have no food in the fridge, and my mum is ill so she cant go shopping and i cant carry all those bags and plus i cant drive!! My stepdad is driving me nuts he said i have to pull my weight, but i am i dont have time to tidy very much because im working my ass off on this job i want. so i am pulling my weight. he syas i spend day and night on the computer but thats training, finindg out science facts on the body. thats why i am on the computer non stop. im old enough to move out but its too much to plan or handle i have my own little seperate house attached to the house so i guess that all i need till i sort everything. im up very late at night at like 3 in the morning but thats not night. but on school days i toss and turn for hours on end and i need to get something to help me sleep. honey milk sometimes works.... im stressed out because my mum is stressed. i go crazy when my mums upset it makes me 10 times as upset.

Im much much better today and i have been for ages back in school all my freinds said it was so quiet without me hehe and they said it wasnt the same seeing as i was off nearly all week. my sister is back shes been away in fueterventura for almost 6 months on work. she was a childrens repp. she is very happy to be back and she has so many plans to meet freinds etc. i got msses of homework to do. but ont i always? XD. its always hard keeping up wit masses of things to do. but if i want to be a beauty therepist i have to do it dont i. i seem to always leave school thins to last minuit. its weired. all my freinds do it befor me and at lunch im always in the library doing homework they ask me what im doing i tell them and they always say "ive already done that. i did it ages ago" its annoying listening tob that nearly everyday. i feel like im in a cartoon with masses of books on my desk. eept its nearly all science. i havent started the B-tech yet becos its only november ive only been in  school for a few months. well started again.

Gosh the past two days i have been feeling like a big pile of poop!! i have had a sickness bug and ive been off school. its extremely weired the weiredest bug ive ever had because i am acheing so much i cant move exept my hands! i struggled getting up the stairs yesterday but i had a shower, they seem to make me always feel better and then i became more strong. i am still acheing and feeling ill an weak but not as much. i have that lump in my throat the one were you know that your gonna throw up sometime that day. i rarely get it and i think i eat to much, (that might be why i threw up) but there is a bug going around my school. lots of people in my school have it and have been off for the past few days. but i bet i will be back tomorrow. its a shame because we were having an INSPECTION aaahh and im missing it i wander what the inspectors are thinking uh oh! but im sure its not so bad, i cant help being ill can i. pills wont help they will come back up. And plus i couldnt walk there. its about a mile and half for me to walk!! and i wouldnt make it. and i dont want anyone else getting this terrbile acheing and throwing up sickness bug. and i hope that nobody in my house does. esoecially my mother she has cancer and a bad neck and i dont wanna make her worse. and i dont want to give my grandparents this acheing.