Enigma23's Journal

Jul 2010
11:16 PM EDT

Some Thoughts

I think Forrest Gump said it best when He said "Mama always said life is like a box of chocolates you never know which one you're gonna get". That is so true when you're dealing with relationships or anything.
I love my ex and it's like we're going to be together no matter what happens. I enjoy that aspect of our relationship. He's seen me through some good times and bad. I love him so much and I couldn't get through some of the things I did without him by my side. I put him through a lot and I am happy to still have him. He is simply wonderful.
Y'all may be wondering why he's my ex if he's all these things. Right?? The truth is... I don't know why he's my ex. I guess I wanted to do me just a little bit. I mean we still do things like we're a couple and other times we don't. Since we broke up it seems like things are a good kind of different. Like how it used to be. All in all he's a really great guy and who knows ppl. Maybe we'll get married. Only the Lord knows abt that one. Men. SMH.
Life for me is going okay at this point in life. Well maybe not so much. But hey, it could be worse. This is some thing I can handle. I am happy with who I am that's really what all of this was abt. Being happy with me. I mean you can be happy with everyone else but can you ever just be happy when it's just you. Everyone should see how they handle that. I mean it's been kinda hard when you've been with someone for so long and you think you can only be happy with them. I had to learn to be happy on my own.
Don't get me wrong I hate to be alone. I like knowing that if I need you you'll be there. Trust me when I tell you. I learned that I can only make someone else happy if i'm happy with me.

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Jul 2007
7:11 AM EDT

Today is a interesting morning so far. I'm in Atlanta doing the family thing. I have so much shit going on in my life recently. I broke up with my boyfriend and I met this guy that I can see myself with. I mean I want to be with this guy but I feel he isn't ready for a real commitment. I want to find the whole happily ever after thing with a guy that knows how to treat a woman. I want to find a guy that would pull out chairs and open doors, you know shit you only see in movies. I met a guy like that, I mean he is a total sweetheart. I love him with my whole heart, he is a really wonderful person. The guy I'm talking about right now is my bestfriend. I know that no matter what, he's gonna hold me down and tell me what to do.

I feel that in life you are given only a handful of true friends. You get two - three chances at finding true love. I mean there are some people who found true love at first sight, I respect them and I know how that feels. I was really in love and then he died. I've been in love but I want to find a love that can stand up for all eternity. I want to find the person that can finish my words and know what's wrong without me telling them. Maybe I'm scared to actually look for it, maybe I'm scared to actually fall in love again and have to worry about losing it. I can't go through the thought of losing another person I truly love. I think that's why I broke up with my boyfreiend. I'm scared of broken hearts. I also hate when people play with my emotions. I don't want to play games, I'm ready for the whole kit and kaboodle, I just want to be happy.

Why is it that when people have found someone to love them unconditionally they want to run away from it. Do they feel like they'd lose a part of themselves when they give their heart to this person. Do they worry about loving the person too much and then they leave without a backward glance. Why do you run away from the things that are good for you and run to the things that aren't. I guess it is something that's a hinderance to the person to find true happiness. I'm not sure but I'd ponder it some more and let you know.

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Jan 2007
12:16 PM EDT

I've had a very interesting week. I quit my job and I don't know what going on with certain aspects of life. You know there are times when you want to scream and pull out your hair. Then there are times when life seems so perfect. Why can't things be more peaceful at times and not so stressful at times.

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Oct 2006
9:54 PM EDT

A thought on LOVE Love is something that's supposed to be everlasting, but why do you end up getting hurt by the ones you love. Why when you find the perfect one it feels as if something is missing. Love should make you want to fly as high as the skies above. There are times when you shudder at the thought of being alone. Then then the one you love comes and shows you everything is going to be all right. Loneliness is a feeling that makes you wish you were young and back home. Love's light is like a beacon that shines ever so bright. I gave my heart to love and it was so wonderful and sweet. Then love showed me that looks can be decieving. When I gave my heart to love it was like I was winning a magical treat. Sometimes love gives you hope when you shouldn't be believing. I am glad that I found love once. When I think of love I yearn for a lovers touch. Written By: Enigma 23

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Enigma23's Profile

Username: Enigma23

Gender / Age: Female, 41

Location: USA - New York

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