Empty's Journal

Nov 2015
7:58 PM MST

Trying to keep busy... pushing the empty feelings back. No phone calls.... no texts.... just alone... I rode my bicycle to the gym. I did not talk to anyone there, but i enjoyed knowing that people were around. It has been a while since I have taken care of myself. .. I want to feel better... I fixed some food... and ate it, by myself. I still feel guilty about eating alone... my brain tells me that nobody will love me because I am fat. I should be ashamed of myself for eating so much. If i had more self control, maybe people would want to be around me. I try to tell myself that I need to eat, that being healthy will help me feel better. It seems to be a constant battle. When I look in the mirror... I don't like that woman. I am starting to see my mother's features in myself. That terrifies me. She is a very mean and hateful person. I am afraid I am going to be like her. Back to night shifts this week. Maybe some sleep deprivation will help me clear my mind.
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Empty's Profile

  • Username: Empty
  • Gender / Age: Female, 45
  • Location: USA - Arizona
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