11:05 PM MST
Today is a little better. "He" came over this morning for a little bit. When he holds me, I feel safe... cared for... like I have a place. But, I know in my heart it is not real... and he will leave again.... I am not really anything to him.
I have made a decision to start taking better care of myself again. There is no reason why I do not go to the gym anymorw. There is also no good reason that my diet looks the same as a teenagers. I know what I need to do... and i know how to do it. I am the only person that can change where I am.
I met an old friend for dinner. She needed the conversation as much as I did. I sometimes forget that people enjoy my company.... especially when I don't want to be around myself.
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USA - Arizona
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