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    wberpunk  37, Female, New York, USA - First entry!
16
Aug 2007
6:52 PM EDT
   

Steps 1-5: Getting Ready to Let Go Step 1. Admit you have a problem. Although this sounds easy, it often is the hardest step. Why is it that everyone else can see what's wrong, but you don't believe them? Are all those people who love you wrong? No. Your solution to painful feelings has been to control your body through your eating disorder. Now your eating disorder controls you. Admit it: Your life is out of control. Step 2. Believe two things: "Change is possible" and "I deserve to have a better life." Repeat these two statements to yourself, especially the one concerning a healthier, happier existence. Step 3. Make a decision to change. Decide to tolerate whatever feelings come up if you begin to change your behaviors surrounding food and your body. With the right support and the benefit of time, you will be able to tolerate the uncomfortable and unpredictable feelings that accompany change. Step 4. Make an inventory of the problems you need to address. Be honest about the things you do to hurt or punish yourself. Write down every symptom, from how you eat, to how you exercise, to how you punish yourself for eating, to how you try to lose weight, and to how you degrade and criticize yourself and try so hard to be perfect and need no one. All of these are behaviors you need to change. Again, be painfully honest about how you treat yourself—this inventory will help guide later steps to recovery. Step 5. Share your inventory with someone who can help you. In other words, come clean! Admit your problems and imperfections—people will still care about you. In fact, doing so may draw you closer to others, as they will begin to understand the agony you have been living. You won't have to "act" all the time, and you can concentrate on being yourself. Just be sure that the person you share this with really can help. Your doctor may be a good person to start with, but a therapist or dietitian can help you formulate an exact plan for the next steps. Steps 6-12—Giving up the Game Step 6. Develop a plan, but keep it simple. A contract needs to include attainable goals and not be overly ambitious or complicated. Otherwise, it will be overwhelming, just as your eating disorder is. Identify one problem and work on that. Do not set yourself up for failure by trying to change everything at once. The plan can include other people. Especially if you are young or living with your family, involving them can help. If they have a clearly defined role in your recovery, they may not get as frustrated and you can all live together more peacefully. An eating disorder is hard on everyone. Step 7. "Fake it till you make it." Changing any behavior is difficult and takes time before you feel better. Sometimes you have to do something for a long time before you sense a change. Try to believe that you're going to feel better, that the anxiety you feel as you take better care of your body will eventually disappear. Gradually it will, but obsessing over it and avoiding change only makes it worse. Step 8. Take life "one day at a time," or even "one meal at a time" or "one hour at a time." If you have trouble meeting your goal, start again. Give yourself another chance. You have probably had your eating disorder for a long time, and the problems leading up to it have been with you even longer. So be patient. Remember: ''Rome wasn't built in a day"; "No pain, no gain." Come up with some other sayings that will help you be more patient with yourself. Very few people can climb straight up a mountain. Step 9. Build in some rewards for your efforts. Recovery is hard work. Be sure to take care of yourself by indulging in things that will make you feel better. Find ways to soothe yourself. Reading affirmations, doing relaxation exercises, participating in favorite activities that are easy on your body will all help your spirits. List these rewards and allow yourself one of them every day. Step 10. Talk about how you feel as you make changes in therapy, in support groups, or in your interactions with trusted friends and family. As you change your behavior, more feelings will surface. To understand how these feelings contributed to your eating disorder, you need to talk, talk, talk. Writing in a journal each day can help you to remember the issues you want to discuss with your therapist. Remember: You can't do this by yourself. Step 11. Keep on changing. Each week take a look at your contract and decide if it is helping you now. Many people with eating disorders have multiple behaviors to change, so take a look at your inventory and decide which problem to attack next. However, it is also sometimes helpful to stay in the same place awhile. If you have worked hard and don't think you can do anything more right now, simply try to maintain the change you have made before moving on again. Step 12. Believe in yourself and give yourself some credit. Acknowledge what you have accomplished, then, when you are ready, refer to your contract and repeat the steps you have accomplished to reinforce your program. Because eating disorders are so complicated and you had to keep your contract simple, it is now time to review your progress and identify another behavior from your inventory to work on. http://www.mirror-mirror.org/eatdis.htm http://www.aliveness.net/index.htm http://users.neca.com/cwildes/ ttp://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/5395/ http://www.healthyWeightNetwork.com/ http://www.hugs.com http://www.healthyeating.com/ http://www.iop.bpmf.ac.uk/home/depts/psychiat/edu/eat.htm
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    Kimberly  41, Female, New Hampshire, USA - First entry!
16
Aug 2007
9:23 AM EDT
   

Hello everyone! This is my very first entry in here so bare with me, okay?
yesterday was a hecktic day for me, but I must say my whole life has been that way.
I don't really know what to say so i will go for now!
Everyone have a great weekend.....
- Kim
Tags: AngelGirl
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    Nanda  36, Female, Switzerland - 3 entries
15
Aug 2007
11:15 PM EET
   

Today was not so much of a hectic day.
I was at Starbucks by 8 in the morning! So imagine how early I woke up! Anyway, the manager was very nice. He needs a copy of all my papers (once again) and so I need to go back tomorrow. I think I go back there once more and I'll kill someone...lol! I feel like such a loser going there everyday! I swear :P

The day was very hot! It was 32 degrees and I got a huge headache half way through the day which hasn't gone away -_- I read in the terrace while I read a little...I think I might've gotten a bit of a tan! haha. The girls' came over for lunch today! It was great. Karin fell asleep in my bed for about two hours -_- lmao.

I also spoke to my parents today! :) They're so cute. I swear I miss them so much!! I can't wait till I see them in December and get pampered by my maid and grandma, mummy and daddy! hehehe.

Filip comes home in 4 days. Waiting seems eternal :(

Anyway, Im gonna go wash the dishes from dinner and then try to get some sleep. I need to rest since I think tomorrow I'll probably be going out to a bar or something and I have to wake up early the next day since I have class.

Oh, I just downloaded a bunch of M2M songs, I was feeling nostalgic! haha

Photo: Consuelo and I at the Fetes de Geneve!
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    auraleah  72, Female, New York, USA - 2 entries
15
Aug 2007
7:11 AM EST
   

In my youth, I was not aware that my expectations for others were set too high...thus, I had very few friends. But now that I am older, and I hope, wiser, I know that expecting too much from others leaves one alienated. Having high expectations of others, means having a self-serving agenda of my own, that I would like my friends, loved ones to adhere to against their own will. That would not be the way to honor those I care about.

However, I do expect to be treated with respect where I have also done so. Accepting people in their entirety is a freeing and friend-keeping way to see others...but to accept negative behaviors that are abusive or intrusive to my overall health and well-being is not an option.

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    littlesmilie  35, Female, California, USA - 3 entries
14
Aug 2007
12:37 PM EDT
   

People say that we live to live that is not right we live to work and work to live
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    timi  46, Female, Texas, USA - First entry!
13
Aug 2007
1:31 PM EST
   

Love is...WOW...in its genuine form...indescribable. It's lowering yourself to elevate someone else. It's hurting and hating but longing and wanting and missing and happy and joy. its all the emotions in one. like white. pure. everything and nothing. that is love.
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    mochaluvr88  35, Female, North Carolina, USA - 3 entries
10
Aug 2007
6:32 PM EDT
   

i do not wish to tell any secrets on the public entry
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    RollerCoasterLove  39, Female, California, USA - 2 entries
09
Aug 2007
4:12 PM EDT
   

Sometimes i just dont understand what ive done wrong. one day he acts like he loves me, the next he acts like i annoy him. im trying to become a better girlfriend, but hes not trying to be a better boyfriend. it doesnt help that all his friends are younger and more immature and dont have serious girlfriends to understand his situation. i think when he gets around them, he changes. into this "single" guy who doesnt give a fuck about me. im always tryna talk about our problems and tryna resolve it, but just randomly outta nowhere hell make it seem like he dont wanna try. when just yesterday he told me "i love you" "i miss you" "im thinking about you". and today i say "am i ur girlfriend" and he tells me "not really." and i say ur throwing me off telling me u love me one day and the next im not ur girlfriend. and he tells me "u threw me off when you moved out". is he tryna make me feel guilty? is he having money issues? financial problems stressing him out? and he blames me? i wanna work things out but how can i with someone whos not willing to try...instead i think to myself why dont i just walk away from all of this. just say fuck him and end it all for good... one day were okay. the next it seems like its all over. its this up and down roller coaster. ive try to change.. ive been making him dinner, avoiding issues i would usually argue about that upsets me... but i guess he doesnt see it. hes too stubborn to see where im coming from.. i kno theres a lot hes done, or hasnt done,to upset me, but im tryna see from his point of view and quitting all the "nagging", the fighting, the arguing.. im tryna do things for him to remember why he fell for me. but with him.. he just doesnt see me as something fortunate to have.. what do i do? i love him.. i dont want all this to end.. i just want everything to be okay again
1 comment(s) - 11:09 AM - 09/19/2012
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Current Tags: betrayed, boyfriend, confused, cry, girlfriend, heartbreak, hurt, lonely, lost, love, sad, tears, upset

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    jen18  25, Female, South Dakota, USA - 5 entries
08
Aug 2007
8:58 PM A
   

sure whatever
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    lilmama  31, Female, South Dakota, USA - 4 entries
06
Aug 2007
4:10 PM EDT
   

To my dad,
Daddy I love you and I miss you so much ma said your court date is comin up soon so good luck. Dad there is so much I wanna tell you but I cant cause I'm scared you'll tell ma and she can't know not now anyway. Dad me and Cory are going to get married, we decided if you can't be there when it happens Jerry will give me away (that is if he wants to) cause hes the closest thing I have to you right now. And I told Cory when I turn 18 we are going to come to the cities for the weekend and I'm going to come see you, cause thats all I want for my 18th birthday, and yea I know its still a while away shit 4 years but still just thought I would let you kow now cause only god knows when I will get to tell you this next, but I g2g before so one reads this Love ya 4life daddy
Love Always,
Daddys lil Girl
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