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    brokentearsRcryd92  32, Female, Ohio, USA - 21 entries
19
May 2009
5:56 AM EST
   

Perfect illusion

Perfect Illusion

Part 1:

They torment me,

Inside my home,

Never being anything,

Except truly alone.

Feeling the weight,

Put me under pressure,

Hating to let go,

Of life’s easy pleasures.

Of course they don’t know me,

The one who soul,

Still bleeds…


Part 2:

Why?

People have lied all my life,

They have left me with so many questions and two little answers.

Begging to hold on to happiness,

Pleading to let go.

I have no simple ery,

No place to go.

They see me smile,

But do not se the scars,

From when I was but a mere child.

They wonder why I act so happy,

But most of my family,

Can see the brokenness inside.

I am chocking on my words.

And loosing it all too quick,

Now’s not the time,

To play any tricks.


Part 3:

I stand,

Leaning over,

The sink.

Taking a good look,

At the image Staring back at me.

Holding my self up.

As I begin to bleed.

This blood is shed,

This blood is lost.

This is my escape from death.

I stare up into the sky.

Wanting so much to be apart of it.

Never knowing what part I’m left with.

Part 4:

Listening the others around,

They do notice me,

But they don’t know,

How often I’ve fallen to the ground.

I fight to many wars inside,

To keep the happiness alive.

I jump from,

One emotion to the next.

They can’t see,

The hurt that hides inside my chest.

Looking deep into my thoughts.

Breaking down,

When ever thoughts,

Of my father cross.


Part 5:

He never meant to hurt me,

Or at least he says so…

He’ll always says,

“I’ll protect you from pain,”

But the only pain I feel,

Is the pain that he parades.

Cracking in my voice,

I try not to speak.

Everything,

Just makes me feel so weak.

Hating what I’ve become,

Falling into the numb.


Part 6:
I’m feeling too banged up,

This emotion stuck in my gut.

He’s holding me closely,

And promises t will be ok.

He’s to innocent for me,

To dance the days away


I ask him from something,

He thinks I need a better way,

But I demand,
So he gives it to me anyway.

Just six hits,

That’s all it’ll take,

Just six hits,

And I won’t have to break.

I feel so dizzy,

My mind flows into the party.


I can barely grasp what’s happening,

Yet I’m laughing hysterically.

If the world moves too fast,

I beg it to slow down,

As I fall to the ground.

I don’t notice I’m falling,

Until I start to bleed.

Hating my self,

Because the world hates me.


Part 7:

Picking up the lighter,

And a pack of menthols,

No one sees me better,

Compared to this,

No one at all.

Chocking one down after another,

No one sees but me.

Laughing at the intimate.

Hacking at the porn.

Taking it all in,

And finally blowing out.

This is the one thing,

I’ll never really doubt.

Getting pissed at the world,

No one knew what I could do,

No one except me,

And now you.

���


Part 8:

See I’m the perfect illusion,

I get good grades,

I hide the pain,

I keep my other life secret,

And I don’t talk of the streets.

Now you can see,

Five minutes in the life of me.

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