Sam's going to this portfolio thing and won't be at Girl Scouts tonight. The thing she's going to is really awesome. She's showing her portfolio to represetatives from certain colleges and they're telling her what they think. I wish I could do something like that - go play for someone and have them tell if I even have a shot in hell at this.
Akash and I were late to String Ensemble today. I feel so bad. We stayed at Lit Mag too long. And when we got there the doors were locked to they had to stop playing to let us in. I love beinga part of S.E. so much. I'm kinda worried about Akash though. After we got to S.E. he took off his sweatshirt cause it was like 200 degrees in that room with the humidity. But, after a few minutes he put it back on and was zipping it up, like he was freezing and looked exhausted. I asked him if he was okay, afterwards, and he said he was fine. I don't like when people are sick. When they're miserable I feel bad. Jeeze, I slept for 4 HOURS when I got home from school today. That's crazy. I think it's my actualy trying in gym. I'll actualy run. It's probably because it's 9th period and I don't have to worry about going somewhere else afterward. We had to run a half mile in under 5 minutes today and I did it in like 6 and a half minutes. That's the same time Sam got. And she's asthmatic. I was actualy trying too. Whatever, I was never good at running ever when I played soccer.
I feel so out of it this year. It's like I have to re-learn how to deal with pepople again. I don't seem to be able to react to people the same way I used to. It seems that I can't just fall back into the submission that I used to use up till now. I mean, I still feel the same way inside - I can't stand to make someone upset because I can't deal with people when they're upset. I've always been like that. I hate being put in the position of consoling someone who's upset. It just makes me upset in the process. It's like when C. used to call me all the time saying she wanted to kill herself, it would make me really upset and depressed. But of course I couldn't tell her that - then she wouldn't call me at all, and I'm scarred that she would actually kill herself in that situation. That's why I'm never really able to be emotional around people. I can't put them in the same position that C. puts me in. I just can't do that to someone else. I don't know if that has anything to do with my new-found unability to put up with other people. I always end up weighing the odds between dealing with people and being anti-social. I really don't mind being anti-social. But, I also like haveing connections with people. I don't know.
I can not believe how humid it was today. I had to tie my hair up by 3rd period.
I LOVE the show the Closer - I just watched the sesion finale and it was amazing. Kyra Sedgwick kicks ass as Brenda Johnson!
I saw the movie Rush Hour 3 yesterday and only have one thing to say
Jackie Chan is the most adorable ninja ever!
The second day of school was more exciting than the first.
My Web Design class is so boring! And the cute guy isn't even my partner! I'm telling myself I have to talk to him tomorrow though.
I stole the index card from Orchestra with my name and #1 on it! - It's so exciting.
It's still surreal being a senior. I don't believe it. I can't wait till tomorrow when I get to 'intern'.
Me and Melissa are trading lockers cause it makes a lot more sense to us. That's exciting too, though I don't know why.
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