pumpkinking's Journal

 
    
16
Oct 2011
6:18 PM CDT
   

why does it hurt so much

well my boyfriend might break up with me forever becuz i told him that i was single in a chatroom. i feel really bad that i said that but i was just confused about our relationship becuz he didnt answer my txt i dont know if he was busy or just mad at me for giving him shit but i hope we can mend things between us and go back to the way things where before all this happened. i never ment to hurt him but i did and now he may not want me anymore becuz of it im so sorry i hurt and i hope u can forgive me 20
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15
Oct 2011
11:10 PM CDT
   

i fucked up

well i kind of fucked up these past few day. and i feel really bad becuz i know i put him through alot of shit. it  just that when im in a relationship i want the guy im with to be real and truthful to me u know if he cheats ok dont tell but if i find out ur ass is grass. but everything else i want to know. it hard for me to let things go cuz im so stubborn but sometime i see something in a pic or the way they talk and i know they lie to me. i was talking to some guy when i was 17 and he had a pic that looked like it was him but i come to find out that hes a 36 year old perv that just want pics of me naked and i was scared i never talked to him again but i knew that there was going to be more where he came from and i told myself if i every get in a relationship i would interrogate him before it got serious and ask them for pics to see if they send me the pic of the same person or if they send me different pics of different guys and if possible get them to go on cam to see wat they look like.
      im in a long distance relationship with a really hot guy that i really like but im afraid to let my guard down to him becuz ive been hurt so many times that i dont know how to trust him. i know he very sweet but i dont know if he tells me the truth about himself and inside it kills me to think this way even when he tells me the truth it kills me. this guy i trust him but in the back of my head i think to myself  is he who he says he is or is he some 50 year old that just want me to send him pic of me naked and wat not and i know he says who he is but i just want a guy doesnt just want me for there gain but a guy that want me for me and i know this guy is the right one for me.
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27
Jul 2011
12:30 PM CDT
   

the end of earth

scared
mad
angry
pissed
fighting never being there for us
trying to figure us out by acting like us
crying because they fight for everything
divorce might happen
wanting a  way out and to be happy and free to go out side of the box
wanting to runaway from it all
depressed all the time never showing your true emotions 
                                                                         the end of earth as we no it full of hate and fear can never be healthy for any one on planet earth.
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04
Dec 2010
10:40 PM CDT
   

JOSEPH 

J = joy i see in him
O = only one i see
S = sexy and hot
E = evthing im lokking for
P = puts me in the mood when im down
H = hell i'd get with him but he straight

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31
Jul 2010
1:35 PM EDT
   

family

family
f fun
a alway there
m mature
i idols
l loving
y your in it

my version of a family
family
lazy
mean
boring
uncaring
disrespectful
rude
never there
crazy
not outgoing
cant do anything i want
cant go out
cant go with friends
i feel traped
dirty house
messy people
always bitchy
always tired
always cranky
always complaining
always getting  more attention
always getting the better thing in life
always getting what ever it want
when is it going to be my turn to get all that and everthing never cuz they dont want me anymore it to late for me now im dead to the world and my family.
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09
Jun 2010
7:53 PM EDT
   

love

love is a mystery
love is pure
love is happiness
love is grace
love is a feeling
love is fake
loves not real
loves not there

i love you and you love me
i fell for you and i though you did to
i was happy and though you where to
i was ready and though you where to
i am pure and i though you where to
i was excited to have meet you
and though you where to
but know i see what you really are
you are nothing but i person that
i have meet and love to the bottom of my heart
and you are nothing but a fly on the wall that i can get rid of
and in my heart you sit playing with me trying to hurt me with your lies and pains i dont know if i can trust you anymore for this day forward till the day i die.

this is my love, my heart, my pain, my soul this is my everything about you.

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09
Jun 2010
5:13 PM EDT
   

oh loving hate

oh loving hate of mine why do hate that im in love
why do you hate that i am happy
why do you hate that these was pure
why did you hate that this was true
why did you hate that this was real
why do hate me for for finding love
why do you hate me for letting go
i know why you hate me so
i know why you let me go
i know why it wasnt prue
i know why it wasnt true
i know now why you hate me so because you love me
that is why you hate me so.
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29
Oct 2009
7:47 PM EDT
   

ok these past few days now have been the worst days of my life because my family is being very mean to one another and i feel that im in the middle of every thing in this family and then theres thing in school that make it worst but then again theres people there that make me happy and make me feel more confortable with my self because they konw me for who i am which is me and i like me because im uniqne in my own way and i still think about moving out when i go off to college and have a fell for the college life for a year and then probally come home to help with bill... and now i feel more crazy in my head because at school theres thing i want but cant have including people some very hot people i see every day in class and out of class and i want what every one has and i may have found it in a few people but ones taken and the other is taken to but i think i may have feeling for this person but there taken and i dont want to ruin my friendship with them over this but i have that feeling that i have with them that no one else has that makes me like them even more than a friend but i dont know if they like me to and i dont what to ask them because i just what evry one happy first then me... so confused about things right now...

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pumpkinking's Profile

  • Username: pumpkinking
  • Gender / Age: Male, 21
  • Location: USA - California
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    PUMPKINKING's Interests:

    Favorite Music: i listen to all types of music...

    Favorite Movies: i like all types of movies...

    Favorite Television: i just watch what evers on tv and vampire diaries...

    Favorite Books: i like to read any book that is interesting to me...