nevergoodenuff's Journal |
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 View nevergoodenuff's private journals |
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Total public posts: 14 |
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Monday - Feb. 26, 2007
- 11:56 PM - EST
- #10
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Ok, so lets say that you like someone. They
are always on your mind and you want to be
with them. But all of these factors keep
getting in your way, like: they like someone
else, or distance, or you don't want to ruin
the friendship you two have created. So do you
tell them how you feel or do you bury all of
your feelings and try to move on? In fear of
making it awkward between the two of
you, you might consider not telling
them. On the other hand, it's good to be
honest and it would be a huge weight
lifted off your chest. I mean, even if they
don't reciprocate your affection, don't people
like hearing that someone cares about
them? If you just go on living without telling
them, you could save yourself from
embarrassment, at least they would still be in
your life as a friend because that's
better than nothing. So what do you do?
I'm a complete mess.....
Someone help me. Please.
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Sunday - Jan. 28, 2007
- 6:14 PM - EST
- #8
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How do you decide your future? How do you pick which
route to take? How do you know if the one you pick is
the right choice? I need some answers! How do you make
the biggest decision of your life? I keep going back
and forth and I still have no clue! God I wish someone
would tell me what to do and tell me that everything is
going to work out. I mean, what if I make the wrong
choice and I miss my fate, the life that was intended
for me? I really want to go up east, but I don't know
if I have what it takes to move 2,000 miles away from
everything I've ever known!?! I've heard that you make
decisions with your heart, but what do you do if your
heart has been broken in a million little pieces? So I
guess I have nothing to go by...I'm screwed! If anyone
who is reading this lives or has been to any of the
places I plan on moving too, your input would be
greatly appreicated. The list is: Boston, Baltimore,
Chapel Hill, Kansas City, & Austin. Anything, and I
mean anything, you have to say will help. Thank God I
still have 6 months to decide!
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Monday - Jan. 15, 2007
- 0:24 AM - EST
- #5
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I am currently snowed in my house and I have been since
Friday moring. With nothing to do and nowhere to go, I
have alot of time to think. It seems like everyone
around me is so sure of themselves and knows exactly
what they want. I, on the other hand, have no clue who
I am or what I want out of this life. I feel so alone
and I don't think anyone out there feels the way I do.
I wake up, go to school, come home, go to bed, and
start it all over. I am in some sort of a rut. And as
much as I hate to admit it, I am lonely. God, the
word 'lonely' is like a four letter word in my mind. A
few months ago I vowed to give up boys, but now I would
give anything for the slighest reaction from a boy.
God, I hate myself for saying this, but I feel like
such an outcast from society because I am single, and
not even close to a relationship. I am in college and
it is so much pressure because according to society,
you find your soul mate in college....Talk about
pressure! If I don't love myself, then how can I love
someone else? It's like you dream about the life you
want instead of going out in the world and living it.
Gosh,I need to get out of this town.....
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Tuesday - Dec. 12, 2006
- 1:04 PM - EST
- #4
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Do you ever feel like you are never good
enough?!
Sometimes I think that I constantly feel this
way. It
seems that no matter what I accomplish or how
hard I
bust my ass for something, noone ever notices.
It
doesn't help any that I am the youngest of
three and my
older brother & sister are both so damn
perfect. My
sister graduated with honors from OU with a
masters in
accountancy and now she has a new apartment in
an
upscale part of Dallas. My brother is a senior
at OSU
who will graduate with honors and is already a
sucessful and well recognized basketball
coach. And
what am I? I am a sophmore at OSU who has
never made
the honor roll and gets left in the
background. I swear
when all of us children are home all my
parents want to
talk about is my sister's new job, or about
her living
in Dallas, or about my brother graduating, or
how great
of a basketball coach he is. I mine as well
not even
exist!?! I swear, I would never want anyone
feel the
way I do when I am around my family, not even
my worst
enemies. And I am busting my ass off right now
trying
to ace all 5 of my finals and all my mother
has to say
to me on the phone is "so are you going to
make 5 A's?"
NO, I'm not! I am going to make 4 A's and 1
B, but
that is NOT GOOD ENOUGH! I don't know, maybe
I'm
overreacting because I am stressed about
finals and I
am about to start my period, but there's got
to be more
to life than feeling like this all of the
time....
PS: I still haven't had a sip of alcohol!
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Friday - Dec. 8, 2006
- 11:25 PM - EST
- #3
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I finally saw someone for who they really are today.
This girl who claims to be my friend has never really
acted like a friend towards me. I have held her hand
while she was sad and I listened whenever she needed to
talk, but she has never once tried to do that for me.
All she talks about is herself and she is such a
hypocrite. When I needed her the most (aka when my
cousins got in a huge car wreck and I was sad about not
spending Christmas with my mother because she was in
Houston getting treatment for her breast cancer) all
she could talk about was the little fight she had with
her boyfriend. The only reason it has taken me this
long to call this person out, is because to your face
she is the nicest person in the world, but she talks
about you when you leave and she doesn't know the true
meaning of the word "friend". Oh, did I mention the
fact she uses me to get to my older brother and his
apparently good looking roommates? Ya, well everytime
she invites me to do something wiht her and her
roommate, she ALWAYS tells me to call my brother and
ask if they want to come. This happens all the time and
I am sick of it. And she must always comment to me
how 'hot' and 'cute' they are. I wish I could tell her
that they don't like her...cause they don't!! They have
told me so; they say she is pathetic! And if she wants
to hang out with them, she can call them her God damn
self. I thought I left all this drama when I left high
school, but I guess not. I really don't need another
person in my life that is constantly going to screw me
over, so I am so done with this person...
In other news, I got to spend quality time with my
roommate and best friend Natalie. She is such a good
friend and is always there for me. We had so much fun
making cupcakes and watching Pirates of the Carribean
2! I just wish this next week would be over, I'm so
ready for a break from all of this!
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Wednesday - Dec. 6, 2006
- 10:46 PM - EST
- #2
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I have been three days on my plan and things have been
going well. I did get invited to two parties already,
but I declined them both. I was pretty proud of myself.
Things have been crazy because of finals and Christmas
and the roadtrip I am going on to Shreveport. But I
have come to realized that I have a pretty good life. I
have a bright future (with my 3.5 GPA!), a great
support system (in my family and friends), and good
health. Ya, I mean, there are times where I am feeling
sad and sorry for myself, but with all of the things I
have been through, I now know that I can make it
through almost anything. I am a confident, strong,
intellegent woman, but I tend to forget it, and that's
a shame. I have become so cynical about life and love
because of my past experiences, but there is still a
part of me that believes in true happiness and true
love. I just wish that girl could come back.
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Tuesday - Dec. 5, 2006
- 0:25 AM - EST
- #1
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Ok, so this is my first day on my
new "abstinence
plan". I am abstaining from all alcohol, drugs
(which I
have never done before), and men. I recently
got
totally trashed at my birthday party this
weekend and
made one too many errors in judgement. I don't
like
this feeling of being embarrassed of what I
did the
night before. So I am giving it all up, for a
whole
year. The thing that makes me mad is that
everyone
thinks I can't do this, which I know in my
heart I can.
I know I can, but people just laugh and
say "yeah
right". I think I will gain alot of strength
that I
never knew I had by doing this. I don't need
alcohol to
have a good time and I definitely don't need a
man in
my life to feel complete. I don't like the
person I
have become, so I am doing something to change
it. Let
me just clear up that I am not a whore, I'm
just sick
of worrying about finding a boyfriend (cause
it seems
that everyone around me has a significant
other) and I
am not an alcoholic, I just sometime don't
know when to
stop. So this is my decleration of
abstinence!! Day 1
had been good, only 365 more :)
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nevergoodenuff's Profile |
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| Username: nevergoodenuff |
| Gender / Age: Female, 22 |
| Location: USA - Oklahoma |
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NEVERGOODENUFF's Interests: |
About Me:
I am just a normal college student who is just trying to enjoy life and is making a few mistakes along the way.
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Interests:
Roadtrips, reading, sports (college football), beading, thrift store shopping, HOMER the dog, coffee shops, College Game Day, good music, snowboarding, ESPN.com, hanging with the siblings, being a STARS fan (love it!) and making the long drive home to TEXAS.
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