Silent Solder, Silent Sound

Jul 2011
10:29 PM MDT

Summer 2011

Another day of summer is gone.
I've been really happy :)
that's good.

I need to grow up.
and figure myself out. before i'm ready for anything else.
cause, if i don't know where i'm going. how am i supposed to commit to anything?
i need to find somewhere to go. and make sure its the direction i want to go, cause it's important.

-rambles-

I don't really know what that was all about up there.

I feel like i'm not ready.
too soon.
i feel like im looking for something, but i'm not quite sure what yet..
but once i find it.
it's all gonna be okay .

comfort?
with myself ?
maybe.

summer. summer summer.
what will it bring?

Tags: summer

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Jul 2011
9:49 PM MDT

Awkwardd.

I really really hope that 16, and highschool in general is the awkward phase, because if being SUPER awkward is just part of my personality, i'm a goner.

I want to get past all this mess that i don't even understand. I do such weird things and I look back and always wonder why? was i even thinking when i did this?

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Jun 2011
6:38 PM MDT

I PASSED

I'm probably the happiest girl alive right now

I PASSED PHYSICS.
I was so sure that I would've have to retake it.
BUT NOPE. i don't :)

UGHH, now that that's over, it really feels like summer officially started.
I was so scared to get my marks back, but now it feels SO GOOD.

There's a lot going on in my head.
it doesn't add up anymore.
It doesn't make sense when nothing is equivalent.

Anyways,
Maan ,i'm pretty old.
I think 16 is the age when -almost- you start thinking about the future seriously. It's constantly on the back of my mind. Always, always thinking about grade 11, about after highschool, and sometimes marriage too. Wow.
When people they get older, they start talking about all these things they wanted to do when they were young. They talk about how they wish they could've gone back. It almost feels like right now, at age 16, is the point where you start wondering if you could've done better. All these questions pass my mind.
If I kept swimming, where would i be right now?
If I tried harder in piano, what could I be doing right now?

Two years ago, I would've pushed it away. I would've said to myself "I can always start tomorrow. I have so much time left."
but now, it almost feels like at this very second, is already wasted
No more being lazy, or pushing it off
because once I wait another day

it'll already be too late.

Tags: summer

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Jun 2011
3:35 PM MDT

BREAK!

I'm on like, a fifteen minute break from work. so, I have about 7 minutes before I should be going haha.

LUCKILY, there's no coworkers in the lounge right now so I can use the computers :) usually they are always taken. but yeah. I love the vending machines here. everything's only a dollar.

Today's been so slow. Nobody's buying anything, which i guess is not bad since I just stand there, next to the double doors and stare.

Is it already the 28th of June ? that can't be.

Oh well.

Time passes fast.

Today is a tuesday
right.

That was fast.
back to till i go :(

much love

Tags: work

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1 comment(s) - 01:22 AM - 06/30/2011

mysilentsoldier's Profile

Username: mysilentsoldier

Gender / Age: Female, 17

Location: Canada

MYSILENTSOLDIER's Interests:

About Me: I'm in high school. I hate oranges. but I like apples. I wouldn't say there's a quote I live by, but I try my best to remember that "the only person that truly knows someone is themselves" I also really believe that "nobody knows true happiness until they've experienced true sadness".

Interests: i love to watch movies swim play piano eat write

Favorite Movies: 500 days of summer ; mean girls ; monsters inc ; i love you beth cooper ; valentine's day ; the ugly truth ; slumdog millionaire ;

Favorite Television: One tree hill ; nikita* LOVVE ; lost ; gossip girl ; pretty little liars ; hellcats *CANCELLED????

Favorite Books: breathless ; lurlene mcdaniel, in ecstasy ; Kate McCaffrey, confessions of a shopaholic ; sophie kinsella, crank ; ellen hopkins, shattered ; eric walters,