I've got to work on my Differentiation.  I've got to work on improving myself and take care of myself and make decision that is good for me...and not what other people think.

In the past, I let my family run my life.  I was suppose to go to the funeral of my ex-gf.  But their was death taboo which conflicted with my father's memorial.  Something irrational about that.  And I didn't go.  So I abandon my ex gf in her time of trouble.  What kind of moron does that?  Still I should not have listen to them, my family.  Even C told me not to go.  I could not believe it.  Now she says that I have to listen to myself not what the family is telling me to do.

I went to church and I can see that I can be forgiven for that.

Even I'm flawed, God forgives and loves me.  I can't forgive but blame other people and then become angry.  In time maybe I can forgive them and even myself.  I find that I want to exact revenge on them.

I need to pull back like the Work The System book suggest and see clearer what the root of the problem is, to be somewhat emotionally detached.