http://surethings.blogspot.com/2008/07/two-letters.html

Lack of Communication or the Mole problem.

Reading David Roppo's advice for communication in a relationship.  It's not learning to communicate but getting down to the root of what's causing lack of communication.  This makes perfect sense to me and it's an idea that's echoed in Work the System book by Sam Carpenter.  In his book he talks about not wacking the mole as it comes up but get down to the root of the problem in the underground to see what's causing the mole or problem to come up?

In my case, when I make N mad, she goes silent, gives me the silent treatment and I can't stand it.