I still don't know how to express... well, anything really.

I wish I knew how people do that - how they open up about things.

I have to start letting some of this stuff out of my head.  I have to find a way to connect to the people I love so they aren't strangers anymore.

I hate being so alone.  I mean, yes, I have G - and my relationship with him is wonderful.. but he's at work so much of the time; I'm on my own almost constantly - and I don't cope.  I'm not coping.  Not even slightly.  I am so sodding lonely.  And yet I compound it by isolating myself further, because it's all I know how to do.  I don't know how to reach out to pepole.  Maybe I should know, but I don't.  I can't cope with the simplest levels of communication.  I do what I can, but it's really not enough by any stretch.

And I'm so tired of it.  So damn very tired.