I still have not emotionally processed what has happened recently. 

I don't know how I feel about the funeral yesterday, much less anything else.

I do know that when I got in the car to leave H's this morning I broke down in tears.  It was a good 10 mins before I could regain enough self control to be able to drive.  And on the way back to my folks house, the tears didn't stop.

I don't really know or understand why I was crying - I just needed to cry.  It seems my emotions are behaving healthily on some level, even if my brain is able to process nothing.